[Gaston] Crazy old Maurice, hmmm? Crazy old Maurice LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking [Lefou] A dangerous pastime [Gaston] I know But that whacky old coot is Belle's father And his sanity's only so-so Now the wheels in my head have been turning Since I looked at that loony, old man See, I've promised myself I'd be married to Belle And right now I'm evolving a plan [Gaston] If I (whisper) [LeFou] Yes? [Gaston] Then we (whisper) [LeFou] No! Would she [Gaston] (whisper) Guess! [LeFou] Now I get it! [Both] Let's go! No one plots like Gaston [Gaston] Takes cheap shots like Gaston [LeFou] Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston [Gaston] Yes, I'm endlessly, wildly resourceful [LeFou] As down to the depths you descend [Gaston] I won't even be mildly remorseful [Both] Just as long as I (you) get what I (you) want in the end [Gaston] Who has brains like Gaston? [LeFou] Entertains like Gaston? [Both] Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston? And his marriage we soon will be celebrating My what a guy Gaston!
