- 1
Clifford T. Ward - It's a Nice Day
- 2
Clifford T. Ward - Gaye
- 3
Clifford T. Ward - Mad About You
- 4
Clifford T. Ward - Mr. Bilbo Baggins
- 5
Clifford T. Ward - Ocean Of Love
- 6
Clifford T. Ward - This Is The Stuff (stuck In The Lift)
- 7
Clifford T. Ward - To An Air Hostess
- 8
Clifford T. Ward - Yesterday In Parliament
- 9
Clifford T. Ward - All Modern Conveniences
- 10
Clifford T. Ward - All That Glitters Is Not Gold
- 11
Clifford T. Ward - Always Think About You
- 12
Clifford T. Ward - April
- 13
Clifford T. Ward - Both Of Us
- 14
Clifford T. Ward - Campers In The Night
- 15
Clifford T. Ward - Cellophane
- 16
Clifford T. Ward - Computer
- 17
Clifford T. Ward - Contrary
- 18
Clifford T. Ward - Cricket
- 19
Clifford T. Ward - Discernible
- 20
Clifford T. Ward - Escalator
- 21
Clifford T. Ward - Everything Goes Out The Window
- 22
Clifford T. Ward - Fast Sinking
- 23
Clifford T. Ward - For Debbie And Her Friends
- 24
Clifford T. Ward - For Emily
- 25
Clifford T. Ward - Give Me One More Chance
- 26
Clifford T. Ward - Heaven
- 27
Clifford T. Ward - Here's Till Then
- 28
Clifford T. Ward - I Don't Understand Your Logic
- 29
Clifford T. Ward - It's Better To Believe
- 30
Clifford T. Ward - Jig-saw Girl
- 31
Clifford T. Ward - Last Train Tonight
- 32
Clifford T. Ward - Let's Be Fools Again
- 33
Clifford T. Ward - Lost Again
- 34
Clifford T. Ward - Love In The Song
- 35
Clifford T. Ward - Marble Arch
- 36
Clifford T. Ward - Messenger
- 37
Clifford T. Ward - Miner
- 38
Clifford T. Ward - New England Days
- 39
Clifford T. Ward - New English Bible
- 40
Clifford T. Ward - Next To You
- 41
Clifford T. Ward - Quiz Show
- 42
Clifford T. Ward - Realisation
- 43
Clifford T. Ward - Reckless
- 44
Clifford T. Ward - Scullery
- 45
Clifford T. Ward - Sidetracked
- 46
Clifford T. Ward - Snakes And Ladders
- 47
Clifford T. Ward - Someone I Know
- 48
Clifford T. Ward - Sometime Next Year
- 49
Clifford T. Ward - Still Not Free
- 50
Clifford T. Ward - Sunshine Girl
- 51
Clifford T. Ward - Sylvie
- 52
Clifford T. Ward - The Cause Is Good
- 53
Clifford T. Ward - The Dancer
- 54
Clifford T. Ward - The Gloria Bosom Show
- 55
Clifford T. Ward - The Session Singer
- 56
Clifford T. Ward - Tomorrow Night
- 57
Clifford T. Ward - Turbo
- 58
Clifford T. Ward - Twenty Minutes
- 59
Clifford T. Ward - Waiting For The Garda
- 60
Clifford T. Ward - Water
- 61
Clifford T. Ward - Water-Wheel
- 62
Clifford T. Ward - WayWard
- 63
Clifford T. Ward - We Could Be Talking
- 64
Clifford T. Ward - A Day To Myself
- 65
Clifford T. Ward - A Dream
- 66
Clifford T. Ward - A Sad Affair
- 67
Clifford T. Ward - A Sad Cliché
- 68
Clifford T. Ward - A Song For Susan
- 69
Clifford T. Ward - Another Radio Station
- 70
Clifford T. Ward - Antecipation
- 71
Clifford T. Ward - Are You Really Interested ?
- 72
Clifford T. Ward - Attraction
- 73
Clifford T. Ward - Avenue Dreams
- 74
Clifford T. Ward - Before The World Was Round
- 75
Clifford T. Ward - Birmingham
- 76
Clifford T. Ward - Carrie
- 77
Clifford T. Ward - Change Of Heart
- 78
Clifford T. Ward - Circus Girl
- 79
Clifford T. Ward - Climate Of Her Favour
- 80
Clifford T. Ward - Coathanger
- 81
Clifford T. Ward - Cold Wind Blowing
- 82
Clifford T. Ward - Convertible
- 83
Clifford T. Ward - Crisis
- 84
Clifford T. Ward - Detriment
- 85
Clifford T. Ward - Easy, Baby
- 86
Clifford T. Ward - End Of Time Tonight
- 87
Clifford T. Ward - Evening
- 88
Clifford T. Ward - Gandalf
- 89
Clifford T. Ward - Gentle
- 90
Clifford T. Ward - God Help Me
- 91
Clifford T. Ward - Got To Get Into Your Way Of Life
- 92
Clifford T. Ward - Heaven Lend a Hand
- 93
Clifford T. Ward - Home
- 94
Clifford T. Ward - Home Thoughts From Abroad
- 95
Clifford T. Ward - I Got Lost Tonight
- 96
Clifford T. Ward - I'd Like To Take You Out Tonight
- 97
Clifford T. Ward - If I Had Known
- 98
Clifford T. Ward - It's Such a Pity
- 99
Clifford T. Ward - Jackdaw
- 100
Clifford T. Ward - Jayne From Andromeda Spiral
- 101
Clifford T. Ward - Jenny
- 102
Clifford T. Ward - Jesus Of Long Ago
- 103
Clifford T. Ward - Julia
- 104
Clifford T. Ward - Lady With The Book In Her Hand
- 105
Clifford T. Ward - Laugh It Off
- 106
Clifford T. Ward - Leader
- 107
Clifford T. Ward - Learning My Part
- 108
Clifford T. Ward - Leaving
- 109
Clifford T. Ward - Like An Old Song
- 110
Clifford T. Ward - Losin' After All (nothin' New)
- 111
Clifford T. Ward - Lost In The Flow Of Your Love
- 112
Clifford T. Ward - Lullaby
- 113
Clifford T. Ward - Marron's Glance
- 114
Clifford T. Ward - Maybe I'm Right
- 115
Clifford T. Ward - Moonlight
- 116
Clifford T. Ward - My Goddess
- 117
Clifford T. Ward - My My What a Day
- 118
Clifford T. Ward - Naughty Boy
- 119
Clifford T. Ward - Nightingale
- 120
Clifford T. Ward - No More Rock 'n' Roll
- 121
Clifford T. Ward - Not To Mention Her Smile
- 122
Clifford T. Ward - Not Waving, Drowning
- 123
Clifford T. Ward - Nothing New
- 124
Clifford T. Ward - Prams
- 125
Clifford T. Ward - Rayne
- 126
Clifford T. Ward - Sal
- 127
Clifford T. Ward - Sam
- 128
Clifford T. Ward - Screen Test
- 129
Clifford T. Ward - Secretary
- 130
Clifford T. Ward - Session Singer
- 131
Clifford T. Ward - Some Uncertainty
- 132
Clifford T. Ward - Somebody Stole My Woman
- 133
Clifford T. Ward - Somehow
- 134
Clifford T. Ward - STAINS
- 135
Clifford T. Ward - Summer Solstice
- 136
Clifford T. Ward - Sweetness And Light
- 137
Clifford T. Ward - Sympathy
- 138
Clifford T. Ward - Taking The Long Way Round
- 139
Clifford T. Ward - Tea Cosy
- 140
Clifford T. Ward - That's The Way Our Love Goes
- 141
Clifford T. Ward - The Best Is Yet To Come
- 142
Clifford T. Ward - The Dubious Circus Company
- 143
Clifford T. Ward - The Mule
- 144
Clifford T. Ward - The Open University
- 145
Clifford T. Ward - The Traveller
- 146
Clifford T. Ward - The Way Of Love
- 147
Clifford T. Ward - There's No Such Thing
- 148
Clifford T. Ward - They Must Think Me a Fool
- 149
Clifford T. Ward - Thinking About You
- 150
Clifford T. Ward - Thinking Of Something To do
- 151
Clifford T. Ward - This Was Our Love
- 152
Clifford T. Ward - Time The Magician
- 153
Clifford T. Ward - Today In Parliament
- 154
Clifford T. Ward - Trespass
- 155
Clifford T. Ward - Trousers
- 156
Clifford T. Ward - Unmarried Mother
- 157
Clifford T. Ward - Up In The World
- 158
Clifford T. Ward - User Friendly
- 159
Clifford T. Ward - Wait a Minute You Fool
- 160
Clifford T. Ward - Watchin' The Tv News
- 161
Clifford T. Ward - Weather
- 162
Clifford T. Ward - When I Found You
- 163
Clifford T. Ward - Where do Angels Really Come From ?
- 164
Clifford T. Ward - Where Would That Leave Me?
- 165
Clifford T. Ward - Where's It Going To End?
- 166
Clifford T. Ward - Wherewithal
- 167
Clifford T. Ward - Who Cares
- 168
Clifford T. Ward - Witches And Ghosts
- 169
Clifford T. Ward - You Knock When You Should Come In
- 170
Clifford T. Ward - You're No Angel
Quiz Show
Clifford T. Ward
I know you love the quiz shows
I know you love the quiz shows
I know you love the quiz shows.
And our final contestant tonight comes from . . .
Where was it again you said you come from?
An well, it doesn't mater
Let's make him welcome shall we folks?
Right, here we go -
A number of questions -
You provide the correct answers in the allotted time
And you win a lovely prize.
Are you ready?
Yep.
Who is the Prime Minister of England?
Ah, it's a woman. I know it's a woman. I think it's a woman.
Who replaced Terry Wogan on the radio?
Ah, that's a suave, slick Scotchman.
I wouldn't leave him alone with my missus, I know that.
In a sentence, what is the basis for modern thinking in society?
Star Trek is it? Oh I love the black doll in that show.
What does anaphobic mean?
Oh now, that's lucky: I learnt that this morning:
It's a hatred of -er- foreign women isn't it? Ooh, I can't understand that
I love women wherever they come from - they're all nice aren't they?
Who wears a blue uniform and is always there if you need help?
Mother Theresa?
What is a surrogate mother?
Ooh, that's my missus.
She ain't got two ha'pennies to rub together come Wednesday.
What is the role of the quiz show?
Cheese was it? No, no, I tell a lie. It was ham in mine.
I can only accept your first answer - sorry.
Who is the Queen of England?
Oh, it's a woman. I know it's a woman. I think it's a woman.
Who is the leader of the opposition?
Oh that's a woman for sure, it's my missus.
What's the meaning of the word 'horrendous'?
A bad woman is it?
What's the capital of Italy?
Oh I know that, it's -er- Nipples - I - I mean Naples.
Name the four counties in the United Kingdom.
This is easy - England, Scotland, Wales and London.
In a sentence, what do you know about the SDP Liberal Alliance?
Oh, is that the one my missus goes to where they do flower arranging
And -er- make wicker baskets and things?
Oh, there's some nice women there.
Who is Shirley Williams?
Oh, she goes there does she?
Oh yes, she's good at the flower arranging, so my missus tells me.
Who had a hit record with the song 'Wuthering Heights'?
Val Doonican is it? No, no, I know it's a woman though.
Who or what is Dow Jones?
A womaniser is he?
What does Danny La Rue do?
Oh, she dresses up as a man - is that right?
Well, you've done very well. Wendy, bring on the prizes.
Now which would you like to take home with you
The computer, the TV, the video or the holiday for two in Majorca?
Ooh, I'll have Wendy can I?
I've seen 'em do that on the Tele - you know,
The girl brings on the prizes,
And they say "I don't like the prizes, I'd rather have the girl".
Alright, you've won Wendy, off you go the pair of you.
Thank you for being a marvellous contestant.
Let's hear it for 'em, shall we?
Put you hands together and give them a big round warm of women -
I mean applause.
I love the quiz shows, I love the quiz shows
Don't you love the quiz shows?
I know you love the quiz shows
The BBC knows you love the quiz shows
And all the independents know you love the quiz shows
America taught us to love the quiz shows.
I love the quiz shows, I love the quiz shows
I love the quiz shows, I love the quiz shows
