- 1
Clifford T. Ward - It's a Nice Day
- 2
Clifford T. Ward - Gaye
- 3
Clifford T. Ward - Always Think About You
- 4
Clifford T. Ward - Home Thoughts From Abroad
- 5
Clifford T. Ward - If I Had Known
- 6
Clifford T. Ward - Mr. Bilbo Baggins
- 7
Clifford T. Ward - Sylvie
- 8
Clifford T. Ward - A Day To Myself
- 9
Clifford T. Ward - My Goddess
- 10
Clifford T. Ward - Ocean Of Love
- 11
Clifford T. Ward - A Dream
- 12
Clifford T. Ward - Birmingham
- 13
Clifford T. Ward - Campers In The Night
- 14
Clifford T. Ward - Fast Sinking
- 15
Clifford T. Ward - Jig-saw Girl
- 16
Clifford T. Ward - Leaving
- 17
Clifford T. Ward - New England Days
- 18
Clifford T. Ward - STAINS
- 19
Clifford T. Ward - A Sad Affair
- 20
Clifford T. Ward - All Modern Conveniences
- 21
Clifford T. Ward - Antecipation
- 22
Clifford T. Ward - Are You Really Interested ?
- 23
Clifford T. Ward - Both Of Us
- 24
Clifford T. Ward - Cold Wind Blowing
- 25
Clifford T. Ward - Computer
- 26
Clifford T. Ward - Contrary
- 27
Clifford T. Ward - Crisis
- 28
Clifford T. Ward - Detriment
- 29
Clifford T. Ward - Discernible
- 30
Clifford T. Ward - Easy, Baby
- 31
Clifford T. Ward - End Of Time Tonight
- 32
Clifford T. Ward - Give Me One More Chance
- 33
Clifford T. Ward - God Help Me
- 34
Clifford T. Ward - Heaven
- 35
Clifford T. Ward - Here's Till Then
- 36
Clifford T. Ward - I Got Lost Tonight
- 37
Clifford T. Ward - Jayne From Andromeda Spiral
- 38
Clifford T. Ward - Jenny
- 39
Clifford T. Ward - Laugh It Off
- 40
Clifford T. Ward - Lullaby
- 41
Clifford T. Ward - Messenger
- 42
Clifford T. Ward - Miner
- 43
Clifford T. Ward - My My What a Day
- 44
Clifford T. Ward - New English Bible
- 45
Clifford T. Ward - Next To You
- 46
Clifford T. Ward - Nightingale
- 47
Clifford T. Ward - No More Rock 'n' Roll
- 48
Clifford T. Ward - Prams
- 49
Clifford T. Ward - Quiz Show
- 50
Clifford T. Ward - Realisation
- 51
Clifford T. Ward - Reckless
- 52
Clifford T. Ward - Scullery
- 53
Clifford T. Ward - Snakes And Ladders
- 54
Clifford T. Ward - Some Uncertainty
- 55
Clifford T. Ward - Somebody Stole My Woman
- 56
Clifford T. Ward - Someone I Know
- 57
Clifford T. Ward - Sweetness And Light
- 58
Clifford T. Ward - Sympathy
- 59
Clifford T. Ward - Tea Cosy
- 60
Clifford T. Ward - The Cause Is Good
- 61
Clifford T. Ward - The Dancer
- 62
Clifford T. Ward - The Gloria Bosom Show
- 63
Clifford T. Ward - The Traveller
- 64
Clifford T. Ward - Thinking About You
- 65
Clifford T. Ward - Today In Parliament
- 66
Clifford T. Ward - Tomorrow Night
- 67
Clifford T. Ward - Trespass
- 68
Clifford T. Ward - Twenty Minutes
- 69
Clifford T. Ward - Waiting For The Garda
- 70
Clifford T. Ward - Water
- 71
Clifford T. Ward - Water-Wheel
- 72
Clifford T. Ward - Weather
- 73
Clifford T. Ward - When I Found You
- 74
Clifford T. Ward - Where do Angels Really Come From ?
- 75
Clifford T. Ward - Where Would That Leave Me?
- 76
Clifford T. Ward - Wherewithal
- 77
Clifford T. Ward - Who Cares
- 78
Clifford T. Ward - Witches And Ghosts
- 79
Clifford T. Ward - A Sad Cliché
- 80
Clifford T. Ward - April
- 81
Clifford T. Ward - Attraction
- 82
Clifford T. Ward - Avenue Dreams
- 83
Clifford T. Ward - Before The World Was Round
- 84
Clifford T. Ward - Change Of Heart
- 85
Clifford T. Ward - Circus Girl
- 86
Clifford T. Ward - Climate Of Her Favour
- 87
Clifford T. Ward - Coathanger
- 88
Clifford T. Ward - Cricket
- 89
Clifford T. Ward - Escalator
- 90
Clifford T. Ward - Everything Goes Out The Window
- 91
Clifford T. Ward - For Debbie And Her Friends
- 92
Clifford T. Ward - For Emily
- 93
Clifford T. Ward - Gandalf
- 94
Clifford T. Ward - Got To Get Into Your Way Of Life
- 95
Clifford T. Ward - Home
- 96
Clifford T. Ward - I Don't Understand Your Logic
- 97
Clifford T. Ward - I'd Like To Take You Out Tonight
- 98
Clifford T. Ward - It's Such a Pity
- 99
Clifford T. Ward - Julia
- 100
Clifford T. Ward - Lady With The Book In Her Hand
- 101
Clifford T. Ward - Last Train Tonight
- 102
Clifford T. Ward - Learning My Part
- 103
Clifford T. Ward - Let's Be Fools Again
- 104
Clifford T. Ward - Like An Old Song
- 105
Clifford T. Ward - Lost Again
- 106
Clifford T. Ward - Lost In The Flow Of Your Love
- 107
Clifford T. Ward - Marble Arch
- 108
Clifford T. Ward - Marron's Glance
- 109
Clifford T. Ward - Maybe I'm Right
- 110
Clifford T. Ward - Moonlight
- 111
Clifford T. Ward - Naughty Boy
- 112
Clifford T. Ward - Not To Mention Her Smile
- 113
Clifford T. Ward - Not Waving, Drowning
- 114
Clifford T. Ward - Nothing New
- 115
Clifford T. Ward - Rayne
- 116
Clifford T. Ward - Sal
- 117
Clifford T. Ward - Session Singer
- 118
Clifford T. Ward - Sidetracked
- 119
Clifford T. Ward - Somehow
- 120
Clifford T. Ward - Sometime Next Year
- 121
Clifford T. Ward - Summer Solstice
- 122
Clifford T. Ward - Sunshine Girl
- 123
Clifford T. Ward - Taking The Long Way Round
- 124
Clifford T. Ward - That's The Way Our Love Goes
- 125
Clifford T. Ward - The Best Is Yet To Come
- 126
Clifford T. Ward - The Mule
- 127
Clifford T. Ward - The Open University
- 128
Clifford T. Ward - The Session Singer
- 129
Clifford T. Ward - There's No Such Thing
- 130
Clifford T. Ward - Thinking Of Something To do
- 131
Clifford T. Ward - This Is The Stuff (stuck In The Lift)
- 132
Clifford T. Ward - This Was Our Love
- 133
Clifford T. Ward - Trousers
- 134
Clifford T. Ward - Unmarried Mother
- 135
Clifford T. Ward - Up In The World
- 136
Clifford T. Ward - Wait a Minute You Fool
- 137
Clifford T. Ward - Watchin' The Tv News
- 138
Clifford T. Ward - We Could Be Talking
- 139
Clifford T. Ward - You Knock When You Should Come In
- 140
Clifford T. Ward - A Song For Susan
- 141
Clifford T. Ward - All That Glitters Is Not Gold
- 142
Clifford T. Ward - Another Radio Station
- 143
Clifford T. Ward - Carrie
- 144
Clifford T. Ward - Cellophane
- 145
Clifford T. Ward - Convertible
- 146
Clifford T. Ward - Evening
- 147
Clifford T. Ward - Gentle
- 148
Clifford T. Ward - Heaven Lend a Hand
- 149
Clifford T. Ward - It's Better To Believe
- 150
Clifford T. Ward - Jackdaw
- 151
Clifford T. Ward - Jesus Of Long Ago
- 152
Clifford T. Ward - Leader
- 153
Clifford T. Ward - Losin' After All (nothin' New)
- 154
Clifford T. Ward - Love In The Song
- 155
Clifford T. Ward - Mad About You
- 156
Clifford T. Ward - Secretary
- 157
Clifford T. Ward - Still Not Free
- 158
Clifford T. Ward - The Dubious Circus Company
- 159
Clifford T. Ward - The Way Of Love
- 160
Clifford T. Ward - They Must Think Me a Fool
- 161
Clifford T. Ward - To An Air Hostess
- 162
Clifford T. Ward - Turbo
- 163
Clifford T. Ward - User Friendly
- 164
Clifford T. Ward - WayWard
- 165
Clifford T. Ward - Where's It Going To End?
- 166
Clifford T. Ward - Yesterday In Parliament
- 167
Clifford T. Ward - You're No Angel
- 168
Clifford T. Ward - Sam
- 169
Clifford T. Ward - Screen Test
- 170
Clifford T. Ward - Time The Magician
Quiz Show
Clifford T. Ward
I know you love the quiz shows
I know you love the quiz shows
I know you love the quiz shows.
And our final contestant tonight comes from . . .
Where was it again you said you come from?
An well, it doesn't mater
Let's make him welcome shall we folks?
Right, here we go -
A number of questions -
You provide the correct answers in the allotted time
And you win a lovely prize.
Are you ready?
Yep.
Who is the Prime Minister of England?
Ah, it's a woman. I know it's a woman. I think it's a woman.
Who replaced Terry Wogan on the radio?
Ah, that's a suave, slick Scotchman.
I wouldn't leave him alone with my missus, I know that.
In a sentence, what is the basis for modern thinking in society?
Star Trek is it? Oh I love the black doll in that show.
What does anaphobic mean?
Oh now, that's lucky: I learnt that this morning:
It's a hatred of -er- foreign women isn't it? Ooh, I can't understand that
I love women wherever they come from - they're all nice aren't they?
Who wears a blue uniform and is always there if you need help?
Mother Theresa?
What is a surrogate mother?
Ooh, that's my missus.
She ain't got two ha'pennies to rub together come Wednesday.
What is the role of the quiz show?
Cheese was it? No, no, I tell a lie. It was ham in mine.
I can only accept your first answer - sorry.
Who is the Queen of England?
Oh, it's a woman. I know it's a woman. I think it's a woman.
Who is the leader of the opposition?
Oh that's a woman for sure, it's my missus.
What's the meaning of the word 'horrendous'?
A bad woman is it?
What's the capital of Italy?
Oh I know that, it's -er- Nipples - I - I mean Naples.
Name the four counties in the United Kingdom.
This is easy - England, Scotland, Wales and London.
In a sentence, what do you know about the SDP Liberal Alliance?
Oh, is that the one my missus goes to where they do flower arranging
And -er- make wicker baskets and things?
Oh, there's some nice women there.
Who is Shirley Williams?
Oh, she goes there does she?
Oh yes, she's good at the flower arranging, so my missus tells me.
Who had a hit record with the song 'Wuthering Heights'?
Val Doonican is it? No, no, I know it's a woman though.
Who or what is Dow Jones?
A womaniser is he?
What does Danny La Rue do?
Oh, she dresses up as a man - is that right?
Well, you've done very well. Wendy, bring on the prizes.
Now which would you like to take home with you
The computer, the TV, the video or the holiday for two in Majorca?
Ooh, I'll have Wendy can I?
I've seen 'em do that on the Tele - you know,
The girl brings on the prizes,
And they say "I don't like the prizes, I'd rather have the girl".
Alright, you've won Wendy, off you go the pair of you.
Thank you for being a marvellous contestant.
Let's hear it for 'em, shall we?
Put you hands together and give them a big round warm of women -
I mean applause.
I love the quiz shows, I love the quiz shows
Don't you love the quiz shows?
I know you love the quiz shows
The BBC knows you love the quiz shows
And all the independents know you love the quiz shows
America taught us to love the quiz shows.
I love the quiz shows, I love the quiz shows
I love the quiz shows, I love the quiz shows
