- 1
Clifford T. Ward - Gaye
- 2
Clifford T. Ward - All Modern Conveniences
- 3
Clifford T. Ward - Secretary
- 4
Clifford T. Ward - Wherewithal
- 5
Clifford T. Ward - Carrie
- 6
Clifford T. Ward - Coathanger
- 7
Clifford T. Ward - Home Thoughts From Abroad
- 8
Clifford T. Ward - If I Had Known
- 9
Clifford T. Ward - Julia
- 10
Clifford T. Ward - Lullaby
- 11
Clifford T. Ward - Moonlight
- 12
Clifford T. Ward - No More Rock 'n' Roll
- 13
Clifford T. Ward - Sam
- 14
Clifford T. Ward - Sunshine Girl
- 15
Clifford T. Ward - A Day To Myself
- 16
Clifford T. Ward - A Dream
- 17
Clifford T. Ward - A Sad Affair
- 18
Clifford T. Ward - A Sad Cliché
- 19
Clifford T. Ward - A Song For Susan
- 20
Clifford T. Ward - All That Glitters Is Not Gold
- 21
Clifford T. Ward - Always Think About You
- 22
Clifford T. Ward - Another Radio Station
- 23
Clifford T. Ward - Antecipation
- 24
Clifford T. Ward - April
- 25
Clifford T. Ward - Are You Really Interested ?
- 26
Clifford T. Ward - Attraction
- 27
Clifford T. Ward - Avenue Dreams
- 28
Clifford T. Ward - Before The World Was Round
- 29
Clifford T. Ward - Birmingham
- 30
Clifford T. Ward - Both Of Us
- 31
Clifford T. Ward - Campers In The Night
- 32
Clifford T. Ward - Cellophane
- 33
Clifford T. Ward - Change Of Heart
- 34
Clifford T. Ward - Circus Girl
- 35
Clifford T. Ward - Climate Of Her Favour
- 36
Clifford T. Ward - Cold Wind Blowing
- 37
Clifford T. Ward - Computer
- 38
Clifford T. Ward - Contrary
- 39
Clifford T. Ward - Convertible
- 40
Clifford T. Ward - Cricket
- 41
Clifford T. Ward - Crisis
- 42
Clifford T. Ward - Detriment
- 43
Clifford T. Ward - Discernible
- 44
Clifford T. Ward - Easy, Baby
- 45
Clifford T. Ward - End Of Time Tonight
- 46
Clifford T. Ward - Escalator
- 47
Clifford T. Ward - Evening
- 48
Clifford T. Ward - Everything Goes Out The Window
- 49
Clifford T. Ward - Fast Sinking
- 50
Clifford T. Ward - For Debbie And Her Friends
- 51
Clifford T. Ward - For Emily
- 52
Clifford T. Ward - Gandalf
- 53
Clifford T. Ward - Gentle
- 54
Clifford T. Ward - Give Me One More Chance
- 55
Clifford T. Ward - God Help Me
- 56
Clifford T. Ward - Got To Get Into Your Way Of Life
- 57
Clifford T. Ward - Heaven
- 58
Clifford T. Ward - Heaven Lend a Hand
- 59
Clifford T. Ward - Here's Till Then
- 60
Clifford T. Ward - Home
- 61
Clifford T. Ward - I Don't Understand Your Logic
- 62
Clifford T. Ward - I Got Lost Tonight
- 63
Clifford T. Ward - I'd Like To Take You Out Tonight
- 64
Clifford T. Ward - It's a Nice Day
- 65
Clifford T. Ward - It's Better To Believe
- 66
Clifford T. Ward - It's Such a Pity
- 67
Clifford T. Ward - Jackdaw
- 68
Clifford T. Ward - Jayne From Andromeda Spiral
- 69
Clifford T. Ward - Jenny
- 70
Clifford T. Ward - Jesus Of Long Ago
- 71
Clifford T. Ward - Jig-saw Girl
- 72
Clifford T. Ward - Lady With The Book In Her Hand
- 73
Clifford T. Ward - Last Train Tonight
- 74
Clifford T. Ward - Laugh It Off
- 75
Clifford T. Ward - Leader
- 76
Clifford T. Ward - Learning My Part
- 77
Clifford T. Ward - Leaving
- 78
Clifford T. Ward - Let's Be Fools Again
- 79
Clifford T. Ward - Like An Old Song
- 80
Clifford T. Ward - Losin' After All (nothin' New)
- 81
Clifford T. Ward - Lost Again
- 82
Clifford T. Ward - Lost In The Flow Of Your Love
- 83
Clifford T. Ward - Love In The Song
- 84
Clifford T. Ward - Mad About You
- 85
Clifford T. Ward - Marble Arch
- 86
Clifford T. Ward - Marron's Glance
- 87
Clifford T. Ward - Maybe I'm Right
- 88
Clifford T. Ward - Messenger
- 89
Clifford T. Ward - Miner
- 90
Clifford T. Ward - Mr. Bilbo Baggins
- 91
Clifford T. Ward - My Goddess
- 92
Clifford T. Ward - My My What a Day
- 93
Clifford T. Ward - Naughty Boy
- 94
Clifford T. Ward - New England Days
- 95
Clifford T. Ward - New English Bible
- 96
Clifford T. Ward - Next To You
- 97
Clifford T. Ward - Nightingale
- 98
Clifford T. Ward - Not To Mention Her Smile
- 99
Clifford T. Ward - Not Waving, Drowning
- 100
Clifford T. Ward - Nothing New
- 101
Clifford T. Ward - Ocean Of Love
- 102
Clifford T. Ward - Prams
- 103
Clifford T. Ward - Quiz Show
- 104
Clifford T. Ward - Rayne
- 105
Clifford T. Ward - Realisation
- 106
Clifford T. Ward - Reckless
- 107
Clifford T. Ward - Sal
- 108
Clifford T. Ward - Screen Test
- 109
Clifford T. Ward - Scullery
- 110
Clifford T. Ward - Session Singer
- 111
Clifford T. Ward - Sidetracked
- 112
Clifford T. Ward - Snakes And Ladders
- 113
Clifford T. Ward - Some Uncertainty
- 114
Clifford T. Ward - Somebody Stole My Woman
- 115
Clifford T. Ward - Somehow
- 116
Clifford T. Ward - Someone I Know
- 117
Clifford T. Ward - Sometime Next Year
- 118
Clifford T. Ward - STAINS
- 119
Clifford T. Ward - Still Not Free
- 120
Clifford T. Ward - Summer Solstice
- 121
Clifford T. Ward - Sweetness And Light
- 122
Clifford T. Ward - Sylvie
- 123
Clifford T. Ward - Sympathy
- 124
Clifford T. Ward - Taking The Long Way Round
- 125
Clifford T. Ward - Tea Cosy
- 126
Clifford T. Ward - That's The Way Our Love Goes
- 127
Clifford T. Ward - The Best Is Yet To Come
- 128
Clifford T. Ward - The Cause Is Good
- 129
Clifford T. Ward - The Dancer
- 130
Clifford T. Ward - The Dubious Circus Company
- 131
Clifford T. Ward - The Gloria Bosom Show
- 132
Clifford T. Ward - The Mule
- 133
Clifford T. Ward - The Open University
- 134
Clifford T. Ward - The Session Singer
- 135
Clifford T. Ward - The Traveller
- 136
Clifford T. Ward - The Way Of Love
- 137
Clifford T. Ward - There's No Such Thing
- 138
Clifford T. Ward - They Must Think Me a Fool
- 139
Clifford T. Ward - Thinking About You
- 140
Clifford T. Ward - Thinking Of Something To do
- 141
Clifford T. Ward - This Is The Stuff (stuck In The Lift)
- 142
Clifford T. Ward - This Was Our Love
- 143
Clifford T. Ward - Time The Magician
- 144
Clifford T. Ward - To An Air Hostess
- 145
Clifford T. Ward - Today In Parliament
- 146
Clifford T. Ward - Tomorrow Night
- 147
Clifford T. Ward - Trespass
- 148
Clifford T. Ward - Trousers
- 149
Clifford T. Ward - Turbo
- 150
Clifford T. Ward - Twenty Minutes
- 151
Clifford T. Ward - Unmarried Mother
- 152
Clifford T. Ward - Up In The World
- 153
Clifford T. Ward - User Friendly
- 154
Clifford T. Ward - Wait a Minute You Fool
- 155
Clifford T. Ward - Waiting For The Garda
- 156
Clifford T. Ward - Watchin' The Tv News
- 157
Clifford T. Ward - Water
- 158
Clifford T. Ward - Water-Wheel
- 159
Clifford T. Ward - WayWard
- 160
Clifford T. Ward - We Could Be Talking
- 161
Clifford T. Ward - Weather
- 162
Clifford T. Ward - When I Found You
- 163
Clifford T. Ward - Where do Angels Really Come From ?
- 164
Clifford T. Ward - Where Would That Leave Me?
- 165
Clifford T. Ward - Where's It Going To End?
- 166
Clifford T. Ward - Who Cares
- 167
Clifford T. Ward - Witches And Ghosts
- 168
Clifford T. Ward - Yesterday In Parliament
- 169
Clifford T. Ward - You Knock When You Should Come In
- 170
Clifford T. Ward - You're No Angel
Quiz Show
Clifford T. Ward
I know you love the quiz shows
I know you love the quiz shows
I know you love the quiz shows.
And our final contestant tonight comes from . . .
Where was it again you said you come from?
An well, it doesn't mater
Let's make him welcome shall we folks?
Right, here we go -
A number of questions -
You provide the correct answers in the allotted time
And you win a lovely prize.
Are you ready?
Yep.
Who is the Prime Minister of England?
Ah, it's a woman. I know it's a woman. I think it's a woman.
Who replaced Terry Wogan on the radio?
Ah, that's a suave, slick Scotchman.
I wouldn't leave him alone with my missus, I know that.
In a sentence, what is the basis for modern thinking in society?
Star Trek is it? Oh I love the black doll in that show.
What does anaphobic mean?
Oh now, that's lucky: I learnt that this morning:
It's a hatred of -er- foreign women isn't it? Ooh, I can't understand that
I love women wherever they come from - they're all nice aren't they?
Who wears a blue uniform and is always there if you need help?
Mother Theresa?
What is a surrogate mother?
Ooh, that's my missus.
She ain't got two ha'pennies to rub together come Wednesday.
What is the role of the quiz show?
Cheese was it? No, no, I tell a lie. It was ham in mine.
I can only accept your first answer - sorry.
Who is the Queen of England?
Oh, it's a woman. I know it's a woman. I think it's a woman.
Who is the leader of the opposition?
Oh that's a woman for sure, it's my missus.
What's the meaning of the word 'horrendous'?
A bad woman is it?
What's the capital of Italy?
Oh I know that, it's -er- Nipples - I - I mean Naples.
Name the four counties in the United Kingdom.
This is easy - England, Scotland, Wales and London.
In a sentence, what do you know about the SDP Liberal Alliance?
Oh, is that the one my missus goes to where they do flower arranging
And -er- make wicker baskets and things?
Oh, there's some nice women there.
Who is Shirley Williams?
Oh, she goes there does she?
Oh yes, she's good at the flower arranging, so my missus tells me.
Who had a hit record with the song 'Wuthering Heights'?
Val Doonican is it? No, no, I know it's a woman though.
Who or what is Dow Jones?
A womaniser is he?
What does Danny La Rue do?
Oh, she dresses up as a man - is that right?
Well, you've done very well. Wendy, bring on the prizes.
Now which would you like to take home with you
The computer, the TV, the video or the holiday for two in Majorca?
Ooh, I'll have Wendy can I?
I've seen 'em do that on the Tele - you know,
The girl brings on the prizes,
And they say "I don't like the prizes, I'd rather have the girl".
Alright, you've won Wendy, off you go the pair of you.
Thank you for being a marvellous contestant.
Let's hear it for 'em, shall we?
Put you hands together and give them a big round warm of women -
I mean applause.
I love the quiz shows, I love the quiz shows
Don't you love the quiz shows?
I know you love the quiz shows
The BBC knows you love the quiz shows
And all the independents know you love the quiz shows
America taught us to love the quiz shows.
I love the quiz shows, I love the quiz shows
I love the quiz shows, I love the quiz shows
