1. 1

    Bob Rivers - 12 Days of Layoffs

  2. 2

    Bob Rivers - 12 Pains Of Christmas

  3. 3

    Bob Rivers - 3 Inch Tool

  4. 4

    Bob Rivers - 401k

  5. 5

    Bob Rivers - 96 Beers

  6. 6

    Bob Rivers - Acid Rain

  7. 7

    Bob Rivers - ADD

  8. 8

    Bob Rivers - American Pie Eulogy

  9. 9

    Bob Rivers - Are They Gonna Fry OJ?

  10. 10

    Bob Rivers - Back In a Us Made Car

  11. 11

    Bob Rivers - Beat Up Old Jetliner

  12. 12

    Bob Rivers - Bowel Moves

  13. 13

    Bob Rivers - Californians Leavin

  14. 14

    Bob Rivers - Cat's in The Kettle

  15. 15

    Bob Rivers - Cheney's Got a Gun

  16. 16

    Bob Rivers - Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire

  17. 17

    Bob Rivers - Clean The Cat Box

  18. 18

    Bob Rivers - Denny Way

  19. 19

    Bob Rivers - Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep

  20. 20

    Bob Rivers - Don't Shoot Mr. Postman

  21. 21

    Bob Rivers - Don't Vote For Nader

  22. 22

    Bob Rivers - Gates Is Such a Rich Man

  23. 23

    Bob Rivers - George Bush Told Lies

  24. 24

    Bob Rivers - Getting Fatter All The Time

  25. 25

    Bob Rivers - Have Yourself An Ozzy Little Christmas

  26. 26

    Bob Rivers - Hey You! Get Off My House

  27. 27

    Bob Rivers - How It Feels (To Be Old)

  28. 28

    Bob Rivers - I Am Santa Claus (Black Sabbath Cover)

  29. 29

    Bob Rivers - I Used To Rock And Roll All Night

  30. 30

    Bob Rivers - I'm A Weight Watcher

  31. 31

    Bob Rivers - I'm Santa Claus

  32. 32

    Bob Rivers - Janet's Coconut

  33. 33

    Bob Rivers - Marv Bites

  34. 34

    Bob Rivers - Most Caffeine You've Ever Seen

  35. 35

    Bob Rivers - Mr. Magoo

  36. 36

    Bob Rivers - O.J.'s Trial Thing

  37. 37

    Bob Rivers - Officer Fuhrman

  38. 38

    Bob Rivers - Oxycontin Eater

  39. 39

    Bob Rivers - PMS

  40. 40

    Bob Rivers - Police Stop My Car

  41. 41

    Bob Rivers - Read It In The Tabloids

  42. 42

    Bob Rivers - The 12 Pains of Christmas

  43. 43

    Bob Rivers - The Ballad Of Gary Condit

  44. 44

    Bob Rivers - The Chimney Song

  45. 45

    Bob Rivers - The Handicap Can

  46. 46

    Bob Rivers - The No Smoking Song

  47. 47

    Bob Rivers - Vatican Man

  48. 48

    Bob Rivers - Walking Around In Womens Underwear

  49. 49

    Bob Rivers - What If God Smoked Cannabis

  50. 50

    Bob Rivers - When A Man Loves A Chicken

  51. 51

    Bob Rivers - Windows 95 Sucks (bought It Up)

  52. 52

    Bob Rivers - Wrong Foot Amputated

  53. 53

    Bob Rivers - Yellow Snow! Yellow Snow! Yellow Snow!

12 Days of Layoffs

Bob Rivers

On the first day of Christmas my company gave to me
A pink slip for under the tree

On the second of Christmas my company gave to me
2 days to pack
And a pink slip for under the tree

On the third day of Christmas my company gave to me
3 Bic pens
Is that right 2 days to pack?
And a pink slip for under the tree

On the fourth day of Christmas, I gave my company
4 letter words
3 more pens
Well I�m gonna take this lamp too, then
And a pink slip for under the tree

On the fifth day of Christmas my company gave to me
5 days of sleep
4 letters words
3 bic pens
And this stapler and my coat rack and�
A pink slip for under the tree

On the sixth day of Christmas, my company gave to me
Six months of Cobra
5 days of sleep
Wake up you freaking monkey, it�s almost break time!
Oh, thanks. Is the roach coach here yet?
And a pink slip for under the tree

On the seventh day of Christmas my company gave to me
7 check a �bouncing
Oh, dear!
6 months of Cobra
5 days of sleep
I got your bonus right here!
3 lousy pens
I�m calling security
And a pink slip for under the tree

On the eighth day of Christmas my company gave to me
8 hours of drinking
I have never bounced a check in my life
5 day of sleep
You big Goofbag!
Bunch of Sticky notes
Can I at least keep thee pocket protector?
And a pink slip for under the tree

On the ninth day of Christmas my company gave to me
9 cans a cat food
8 hours of drinking
Could you not breathe on me please?
I can�t afford Cobra
5 days of sleep
4 festive words
3 Bic pens
Only 2 days to pack
And a pink slip for under the tree
I got a blue one

On the tenth day of Christmas my company gave to me
10 workers weeping,
There, there missy, it�s gonna� get a lot worse than this
God, I hope my kids don�t get sick
Want some cat food?
5 days of sleep
Bite me!
Do I hear sexual harassment?
Would you help me carry this copier to my car, please?
And a pink slip for under the tree

On the eleventh day of Christmas my company gave to me
Eleventh hour pleading
10 workers weeping
You know I know a guy that�ll hire all three of you girls, sight unseen
And you get to work with a cobra, imagine that!
5 days of sleep
4 letter words
I �m warning you!
Can�t we all just get along?
And a pink slip for under the tree

On the twelfth day of Christmas my company gave to me
12 employees bumming
I know girls, I know
Say, you girls need a ride home? I got my par carked right out front?
Five days of sleep
I gave this place the best years of my life and they gave me the shaft!
And a pink slip for under the tree
Tree? What tree? We�re not gonna be able to afford a tree!

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