Now when the good ole holidays roll around 
 
 I'm the kind of a guy that likes to be found
 
 Just takin it easy and layin around -doin nothin. 
 
 But I take my chair and sit on the lawn,
 
 And just when all my cares are gone 
 
 About a million bugs start carryin on, and I'm cussin-
 
  
  Some caterpillar from up some tree decides as far as he can see
 
 There's nothin to do but to fall on me-the damn worm
 
 And a dirty ole fly just makin it clear 
 
 That he ain't had a bath for over a year
 
 So he's takin one now in my glass of beer to lose germs
  
 
 Chorus:
 
 Bugs Bugs Bugs, If I had them all in jugs
 
 I'd dig dig dig, till a big big hole was dug dug dug dug--
 
 And that would be the end of the bug song...
  
 
 Well I try to sleep when I get the chance 
 
 But you just can't trust them cursed ants
  
 
 They're never satisfied till they're in your pants and you're crawlin
 
 With a spider web right across the face 
 
 I'm lookin around for a better place
  
 
 Till a couple of hornets take up the chase and I'm howlin!
 
 Well I head for the house and I hold my breath 
  
 
 Till I find some stuff in the medicine chest,
  
 
 For the welts I got on the spot you guessed-where I'm sittin...
 
 And the wife gets mad cause I forgot 
 
 To get stuff for the fleas our kitten caught
  
 
 Off some old dog on the neighbours lot and she's rippin...
  
 
 Chorus
  
 
 Well I chased that moth from the middle drawer 
 
 That chewed the clothes I useta wore
 
 And I jammed my thumb on the bedroom door tryin to catch 'im
  
 
 And I'm sure the mosquitoes all know their skill 
 
 Cause one pryed up my windowsill
 
 And he limped through the air with a broken drill and I'm scratchin.
  
 
 You might think I'm a little bit rough 
 
 Cause I don't take to that nature stuff
 
 But I think I've just about had enough of them bugs.
  
 
 Now your backyard might be okay, 
 
 But I'm goin down to buy some spray
 
 Cause my little place is walkin away with them bugs...
  
 
 Chorus
  
 
 That would be the end of the bug song
 
 I'm gonna dig dig dig, dig dig dig dig dig dig....