- 1
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Head, Shoulders, Knees, And Toes.
- 2
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Bird Is The Word
- 3
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Break Into Your House With A Kinko's Copy Card
- 4
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Chile Con Carne
- 5
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Don't Speak Spanish Very Well
- 6
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - ¿te Gustan Las Calamares?
- 7
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - ¿that Pretty Piñata?
- 8
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - A Hop, Skip, And A Jump Away
- 9
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - A Tribute To Wood
- 10
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Bagpipes
- 11
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Bismosquizimanitch Is My Name
- 12
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Center Ex Home/office Surge Supressor
- 13
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Choke On It, Hippie
- 14
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Churnin' Butter
- 15
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Coke Is It!
- 16
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Crazy Tequilla
- 17
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Dance, Dance, Like You've Never Danced Before
- 18
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Everybody Wang Chung Tonight?
- 19
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Exhausted Talent
- 20
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Fast Forward Through This Song
- 21
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Food Is Tasty
- 22
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - For The Trees
- 23
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Get Out Of My Car, And Stay Out!
- 24
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Get Up, Get Down, Get Crazy
- 25
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Hardcore Boy
- 26
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Hey Snoopy
- 27
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - How Do You Spell "maricones"?
- 28
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Am What I Am
- 29
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Can't Believe You Made It This Far
- 30
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Don't Care What Anyone Says, They Stole That Idea From Us!
- 31
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Love Living In The Suburbs
- 32
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Only Drink Water, Leave Me Alone, You Drunkard
- 33
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Only Want To Be With You
- 34
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Sold My Soul For A Cigarrette
- 35
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Stopped Smoking, Now Give Me Back My Soul
- 36
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I'll Kill You
- 37
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Ida
- 38
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Into The Sunset
- 39
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Itsy Bitsy Spider
- 40
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Kentucky Jones (part 2)
- 41
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Kentucky Jones (part 3)
- 42
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Kentucky Jones (part 4)
- 43
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Kentucky Jones In, "raiders Of The Lost Bark" (part 1)
- 44
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Kill Andrew With The Keyboard To My Computer
- 45
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Knight Rider
- 46
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Like To Play The Guitar
- 47
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Midnight Madness
- 48
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - My Life, For But A Glass Of Water
- 49
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - My Love, For But A Dollar
- 50
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - My Mother, For But A Glass Of Crazy Tequilla
- 51
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - My Name Is Mud
- 52
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Nectar Of The Gods
- 53
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Ode To Hootie
- 54
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Penchant For Penelope
- 55
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Pepe's Not Happy
- 56
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Petals Of Rose
- 57
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Pizza: It's Good
- 58
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Refridgerators
- 59
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Ride Like The Wind?
- 60
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sandpaper Man, Part 1
- 61
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sandpaper Man, Part 2
- 62
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sandpaper Man, Part 3
- 63
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Son Of A Biscuit
- 64
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Son Of A Motherless Goat
- 65
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sounds Good To Me
- 66
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sounds Like A Bad Idea To Me
- 67
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sounds Like A Load Of Dung To Me
- 68
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Spadowski And His Mop
- 69
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Spumous Erubescent Death
- 70
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Stop
- 71
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Stupid Is As Stupid Does
- 72
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - That's It, We Quit
- 73
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - That's My Name, Please Refrain From Wearing It Out
- 74
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Balad Of A Lonely Man, With A Chia Pet
- 75
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Call Of The Wind
- 76
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Night
- 77
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Pope Is Pissed
- 78
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Seventh Son's Seventh Son
- 79
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Tragedy Of The Carpet
- 80
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Truth About Jimmy Hoffa
- 81
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - There's Nothing Quite Like Jell-o
- 82
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - There's Nothing You Can Do To Stop Me From Eating Dirt
- 83
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - They Call Me Bisquatch
- 84
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - They Never Gave Boo-berry A Chance
- 85
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Tierra Del Mundo
- 86
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Trumpet Troubles
- 87
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Trumpet Troubles, Continued...
- 88
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Utopia
- 89
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - We Hate Hippies And Drugs
- 90
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - We'll Be Back, Chumps...
- 91
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - We're Gonna Be Rich
- 92
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - What Happened To Mr. T?
- 93
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - What, You're Still Listening? Turn Off The Turntable
- 94
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - When The Clock Sounds
- 95
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Why, Yes, I Would Like Another!
- 96
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Yeah, I Shot The Sheriff. What Are You Gonna Do About It, Tough Guy?
- 97
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Yo! A.l.e. Raps
- 98
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Your Mother!
Kentucky Jones In, "raiders Of The Lost Bark" (part 1)
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy.
Scene 1... Kentucky Jones gets thrown out of another bar
(lots of fighting going on)
Kentucky: Ah! God Damn! Jesus! eugh! argh! eungh! Help! Somebody! God!
Bar Fighter: STAY THE HELL OUT YOU COMMIE FAGGOT!
Kentucky: Eugh. Damnit. Can't a guy start a barfight without getting thrown into the streets? Well, I'd better get back to work.
(a kid runs into Kentucky)
Kentucky: Eugh!
Kid: Oh I'm so sorry Mister Jones!
Kentucky: Aw that's alright kid, just watch where yer going next time or I'll snap your n... Hey, wait a second. How do you know my name?
Kid: Everybody knows your name around here. You're search for The Lost Bark! Well I gotta go. Bye Bye!
Kentucky: Yeah, see ya around kid. Wait a second! HEY GET BACK HERE!
Kid: Yes Doctor Jones?
Kentucky: Why don't you give me back my wallet. And after you do that, we'll take you back to the police.
Kid: Oh no please Doctor Jones! I just wanted to buy some sushi!
Kentucky: Yeah, and I'm your dead granny! Come on kid let's go!
Kid: Wait! I will take you to my father if you don't turn me in. He is said to be the only one who knows where the Lost Bark is!
Kentucky: Hmmm, ok Kid, you've got a deal. But if you're lying, I'll snap your...
Kid: Yeah yeah, LET'S GO!
Announcer: End of Scene 1. Stay tuned next week for another action packed episode of... KENTUCKY JONES!
(trumpet)
Random Guy: hooooooooooooo!
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