- 1
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Head, Shoulders, Knees, And Toes.
- 2
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Bird Is The Word
- 3
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Break Into Your House With A Kinko's Copy Card
- 4
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Chile Con Carne
- 5
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Don't Speak Spanish Very Well
- 6
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - ¿te Gustan Las Calamares?
- 7
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - ¿that Pretty Piñata?
- 8
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - A Hop, Skip, And A Jump Away
- 9
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - A Tribute To Wood
- 10
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Bagpipes
- 11
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Bismosquizimanitch Is My Name
- 12
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Center Ex Home/office Surge Supressor
- 13
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Choke On It, Hippie
- 14
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Churnin' Butter
- 15
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Coke Is It!
- 16
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Crazy Tequilla
- 17
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Dance, Dance, Like You've Never Danced Before
- 18
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Everybody Wang Chung Tonight?
- 19
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Exhausted Talent
- 20
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Fast Forward Through This Song
- 21
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Food Is Tasty
- 22
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - For The Trees
- 23
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Get Out Of My Car, And Stay Out!
- 24
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Get Up, Get Down, Get Crazy
- 25
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Hardcore Boy
- 26
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Hey Snoopy
- 27
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - How Do You Spell "maricones"?
- 28
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Am What I Am
- 29
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Can't Believe You Made It This Far
- 30
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Don't Care What Anyone Says, They Stole That Idea From Us!
- 31
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Love Living In The Suburbs
- 32
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Only Drink Water, Leave Me Alone, You Drunkard
- 33
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Only Want To Be With You
- 34
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Sold My Soul For A Cigarrette
- 35
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Stopped Smoking, Now Give Me Back My Soul
- 36
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I'll Kill You
- 37
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Ida
- 38
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Into The Sunset
- 39
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Itsy Bitsy Spider
- 40
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Kentucky Jones (part 2)
- 41
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Kentucky Jones (part 3)
- 42
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Kentucky Jones (part 4)
- 43
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Kentucky Jones In, "raiders Of The Lost Bark" (part 1)
- 44
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Kill Andrew With The Keyboard To My Computer
- 45
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Knight Rider
- 46
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Like To Play The Guitar
- 47
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Midnight Madness
- 48
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - My Life, For But A Glass Of Water
- 49
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - My Love, For But A Dollar
- 50
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - My Mother, For But A Glass Of Crazy Tequilla
- 51
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - My Name Is Mud
- 52
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Nectar Of The Gods
- 53
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Ode To Hootie
- 54
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Penchant For Penelope
- 55
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Pepe's Not Happy
- 56
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Petals Of Rose
- 57
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Pizza: It's Good
- 58
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Refridgerators
- 59
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Ride Like The Wind?
- 60
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sandpaper Man, Part 1
- 61
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sandpaper Man, Part 2
- 62
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sandpaper Man, Part 3
- 63
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Son Of A Biscuit
- 64
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Son Of A Motherless Goat
- 65
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sounds Good To Me
- 66
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sounds Like A Bad Idea To Me
- 67
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sounds Like A Load Of Dung To Me
- 68
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Spadowski And His Mop
- 69
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Spumous Erubescent Death
- 70
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Stop
- 71
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Stupid Is As Stupid Does
- 72
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - That's It, We Quit
- 73
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - That's My Name, Please Refrain From Wearing It Out
- 74
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Balad Of A Lonely Man, With A Chia Pet
- 75
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Call Of The Wind
- 76
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Night
- 77
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Pope Is Pissed
- 78
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Seventh Son's Seventh Son
- 79
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Tragedy Of The Carpet
- 80
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Truth About Jimmy Hoffa
- 81
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - There's Nothing Quite Like Jell-o
- 82
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - There's Nothing You Can Do To Stop Me From Eating Dirt
- 83
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - They Call Me Bisquatch
- 84
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - They Never Gave Boo-berry A Chance
- 85
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Tierra Del Mundo
- 86
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Trumpet Troubles
- 87
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Trumpet Troubles, Continued...
- 88
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Utopia
- 89
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - We Hate Hippies And Drugs
- 90
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - We'll Be Back, Chumps...
- 91
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - We're Gonna Be Rich
- 92
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - What Happened To Mr. T?
- 93
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - What, You're Still Listening? Turn Off The Turntable
- 94
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - When The Clock Sounds
- 95
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Why, Yes, I Would Like Another!
- 96
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Yeah, I Shot The Sheriff. What Are You Gonna Do About It, Tough Guy?
- 97
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Yo! A.l.e. Raps
- 98
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Your Mother!
Sandpaper Man, Part 3
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy.
We now join our hero sandpaper man flying high in the sky over a small town, hoping to see nothing but peace...
Sandpaper man: ahhh, what a great day! the clean air provided by the nuclear energy plants! the noise polution of the traffic! things couldn't be better! i swear i....what!? what is this!? jumping jesus on a pogostick! look down there! it looks like those homophobic frat boys are giving that gay lad a hard time. this looks like a job for......sandpaper man!
Frat boy: hey you freakin faggot, you wanna pick me up? hahahah!
Gay lad: actually, that's what i have in mind you silly goose!
Frat boy: what the hell? shutup faggot! i'm not a faggot you faggoty-assed faggot! get the hell away from me!
Gay lad: but yer so big and strong you big football-playing strongman you!
Frat boy: oh, so you wanna learn how to play football huh?
Gay lad: if it's with you, oh yes!
Frat boy: well here's your first lesson...learn how to take a hit!
Gay lad: (punching sounds in background) ow ow! stop! ow! stop that! ow! no! help me!
Sandpaper man: what the hell is going on here!? there will be no fighting!
Gay lad: mmmmm, i like your outfit, but the red cape clashes with the big letter on your chest. i could touch that up a bit for you, if you like.
Sandpaper man: thank you, i might take you up on that sometime!
Frat boy: what the hell!? why are you wearing that stupid faggoty-assed outfit? are you a faggot too? i knew it, i'm surrounded by faggots!
Sandpaper man: what your mouth young man or i'll have to sand it down for you!
Frat boy: oh yeah? well why don't you try and make me you faggot!
Sandpaper man: i'm no faggot, for i am.....sandpaper man!
Frat boy: (sanding sounds) hey stop that!!! (voice is now muffled) mmmm!!! mmmmm!! mmmmm!....
Sandpaper man: ha ha! there now! you won't be blabbing anymore! go back to your fraternity and let them know that they face the same wrath as you did if they wish to harm good citizens like our gay lad friend here! ha ha ha!
Gay lad: tee hee hee! that was marvelous! and sandpaper man, what do you say we go get some food together?
Sandpaper man: a date? hah hah. no, i'm not a homosexual my friend. but i do uphold your right to be a homosexual! so go and play and remember.... wherever there is trouble, i will be there to help. if you need anything, just give a whistle and a toot and sandpaper man will be there!
Announcer: and so exit our hero once again, awaiting the next pathetic injustice that any fool dares to attempt. stay tuned for the next exciting episode of.......
Sandpaper man and announcer: sandpaper man!!!!
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