- 1
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Head, Shoulders, Knees, And Toes.
- 2
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Bird Is The Word
- 3
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Break Into Your House With A Kinko's Copy Card
- 4
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Chile Con Carne
- 5
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Don't Speak Spanish Very Well
- 6
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - ¿te Gustan Las Calamares?
- 7
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - ¿that Pretty Piñata?
- 8
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - A Hop, Skip, And A Jump Away
- 9
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - A Tribute To Wood
- 10
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Bagpipes
- 11
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Bismosquizimanitch Is My Name
- 12
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Center Ex Home/office Surge Supressor
- 13
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Choke On It, Hippie
- 14
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Churnin' Butter
- 15
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Coke Is It!
- 16
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Crazy Tequilla
- 17
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Dance, Dance, Like You've Never Danced Before
- 18
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Everybody Wang Chung Tonight?
- 19
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Exhausted Talent
- 20
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Fast Forward Through This Song
- 21
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Food Is Tasty
- 22
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - For The Trees
- 23
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Get Out Of My Car, And Stay Out!
- 24
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Get Up, Get Down, Get Crazy
- 25
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Hardcore Boy
- 26
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Hey Snoopy
- 27
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - How Do You Spell "maricones"?
- 28
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Am What I Am
- 29
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Can't Believe You Made It This Far
- 30
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Don't Care What Anyone Says, They Stole That Idea From Us!
- 31
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Love Living In The Suburbs
- 32
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Only Drink Water, Leave Me Alone, You Drunkard
- 33
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Only Want To Be With You
- 34
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Sold My Soul For A Cigarrette
- 35
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I Stopped Smoking, Now Give Me Back My Soul
- 36
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - I'll Kill You
- 37
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Ida
- 38
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Into The Sunset
- 39
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Itsy Bitsy Spider
- 40
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Kentucky Jones (part 2)
- 41
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Kentucky Jones (part 3)
- 42
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Kentucky Jones (part 4)
- 43
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Kentucky Jones In, "raiders Of The Lost Bark" (part 1)
- 44
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Kill Andrew With The Keyboard To My Computer
- 45
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Knight Rider
- 46
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Like To Play The Guitar
- 47
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Midnight Madness
- 48
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - My Life, For But A Glass Of Water
- 49
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - My Love, For But A Dollar
- 50
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - My Mother, For But A Glass Of Crazy Tequilla
- 51
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - My Name Is Mud
- 52
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Nectar Of The Gods
- 53
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Ode To Hootie
- 54
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Penchant For Penelope
- 55
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Pepe's Not Happy
- 56
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Petals Of Rose
- 57
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Pizza: It's Good
- 58
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Refridgerators
- 59
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Ride Like The Wind?
- 60
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sandpaper Man, Part 1
- 61
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sandpaper Man, Part 2
- 62
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sandpaper Man, Part 3
- 63
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Son Of A Biscuit
- 64
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Son Of A Motherless Goat
- 65
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sounds Good To Me
- 66
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sounds Like A Bad Idea To Me
- 67
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Sounds Like A Load Of Dung To Me
- 68
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Spadowski And His Mop
- 69
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Spumous Erubescent Death
- 70
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Stop
- 71
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Stupid Is As Stupid Does
- 72
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - That's It, We Quit
- 73
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - That's My Name, Please Refrain From Wearing It Out
- 74
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Balad Of A Lonely Man, With A Chia Pet
- 75
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Call Of The Wind
- 76
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Night
- 77
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Pope Is Pissed
- 78
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Seventh Son's Seventh Son
- 79
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Tragedy Of The Carpet
- 80
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - The Truth About Jimmy Hoffa
- 81
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - There's Nothing Quite Like Jell-o
- 82
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - There's Nothing You Can Do To Stop Me From Eating Dirt
- 83
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - They Call Me Bisquatch
- 84
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - They Never Gave Boo-berry A Chance
- 85
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Tierra Del Mundo
- 86
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Trumpet Troubles
- 87
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Trumpet Troubles, Continued...
- 88
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Utopia
- 89
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - We Hate Hippies And Drugs
- 90
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - We'll Be Back, Chumps...
- 91
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - We're Gonna Be Rich
- 92
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - What Happened To Mr. T?
- 93
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - What, You're Still Listening? Turn Off The Turntable
- 94
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - When The Clock Sounds
- 95
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Why, Yes, I Would Like Another!
- 96
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Yeah, I Shot The Sheriff. What Are You Gonna Do About It, Tough Guy?
- 97
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Yo! A.l.e. Raps
- 98
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy. - Your Mother!
The Pope Is Pissed
Abbreviated. Life. Expectancy.
And he's REALLY pissed off
He told me, and I quote,
"I hate this fuckin' job..."
He ranted on and on about how much he wishes
He could have lived his "true dreams" and instead
He had to settle for being the most highly respected
Religious official on earth.
I was shocked to hear about how he wanted to
Open up his own used-car lot.
I can see the commercials now,
"And if you buy a car in the next month,
We will give you a free communion and no extra charge!"
But no, he's miserable.
I met his wife...
Yeah, he's married.
Not many people know this,
her name is Helga and she lives in
A secret hideout place underneath
The Amazon River.
The Pope knows nobody will find her there
Since the piranhas would eat anyone alive.
The Pope never gets bothered by the piranhas
They know "he's the pope" and wouldn't want
To go to "Fish Hell".
He told me about how much he hates waving to
Everyone at the stupid gatherings and services
He told me how much he hates bread and wine
And would much rather have some meat and a Jolt cola.
I feel sorry for the guy
Actually, it could be an entertaining job.
I'm sure he gets lots of benefits from it.
I bet Visa never turned down one of his credit applications...
"Sorry Pope, your credit isn't good enough for us."
"Ha Ha! Fuck you then! You're going straight to hell!"
"Oh! Ummmm, what was I thinking!? Here's a Visa-Gold! Here, have five of 'em!"
Maybe if I aspire to start my own used-car lot
I could become the pope too....
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