I was just a child with
Open hands and open eyes
Waiting for a moment
You would finally realize
Every smile I practiced was
A door you never tried
Every tear I swallowed was
A piece of me that died
I'd do anything to earn a gentle word from you
But nothing that I gave was ever good enough for you
I learned to eye the pieces that were soft and small
You only loved me
When I didn't feel at all
I was just a kid who
Only wanted to be loved
But you taught me that affection
Was a mountain not to touch
Now I flinch at every promise
Every hand that reaches out
'Cause unconditional love
Is something I still doubt
How could I believe in love
When you never showed me how?
I grew up like a shadow
Trying hard to earn a place
Reading every mood change
Like a sermon on your face
You called it love whenever
I forgot my needs
But real love doesn't bloom
When someone else decides it breathes
And I still hear your voice when someone says my name
Telling me I'm selfish just for trying to heal the pain
I'm learning that my worth was never yours to claim
But loving feels like walking through a battlefield now
I was just a kid who
Only wanted to be loved
But you taught me that affection
Was a mountain not to touch
Now I flinch at every promise
Every hand that reaches out
'Cause unconditional love
Is something I still doubt
How could I believe in love
When you never showed me how?
I didn't fail you
You failed me
I'm unlearning every lie you
Carved into my bones
I'm learning love is something I
Deserve to call my own
But some nights I still feel
Like that child in the dark
Begging for a place
Inside somebody's heart
I was just a kid who only
Wanted to be loved
And I'm slowly finding out
I'm finally worthy of enough
You can't take back the damage
Or the years you tore me down
But I'm here now, I'm still healing
I'm rewriting all the love
I never found
And maybe someday
I'll believe it
But I'm learning how
