Now, when I was young, and my figure was sleek
(Memories)
I had a different gal every night of the week
And each gal knew for certain which was her day
You see, their names were Sandy, Mandy
Trudy, Wendy, Ferdy, Heidi, and Sally-May
And when people ask me why I never married
Why I never took a wife, one of my own, that is
I say it's because I have been in love with screen stars all my life
Well, when our padre said: Now, can you name the five disciples, my son?
I said: Well, I sure can they're Matthew, Mark, Olivia Newton-John
You see
I'm fond o' Jane Fonda, but is Jane fond o' me?
I'm mad on a lady called Madonna, but Madonna ain't mad on me
I'm ready for Helen Reddy Hell, I'm ready as I'm ever gonna be
And if I could see more o' Jane Seymour, I'd let Jane see more o' me and there's a lot to see
If I saw Ursula Andress (undress), I'd be dying to take a second look
I would sue Sue Cook if Sue cooked my goose, I'd rather goose Sue Cook
I'd let Gloria Gaynor (gain a) little bit of weight as we'd picnic by Joan Rivers
If I could get my burly chassis up close to Shirley Bassey
I would boogie-woof my Googie Withers
I'd like to get Lesley-Anne Down down to my cottage about the bay
I told Esther Rantzen I would put my best pants on if she'd come with me down Mexico way
But when I assured Anna Ford that we can afford to fly to Cuba, she'd just say no
Well, if I can't have Anna in Havana, I'll see Esther (siesta) in Mexico
Well, that's life!
(I'll see Esther in Mexico!)
