Colleen, Colleen
Oh, I'm aching for you
Colleen, Colleen
My heart's breaking for you
Now, Jock sat in the emergency
Ward as nervous as he could be
Nurse Colleen said
Now, what's that there just above your knee?
He said: Oh, that's my sporran, ma'am
She said
Now, there's a scream
For ten whole minutes
I've been trying to give it a saucer of cream
Colleen, Colleen
Oh, I'm aching for you
Colleen, Colleen
My heart's breaking for you
She rubbed me thumb with liniment
And it turned me thumb all red
I said: That made it smart
So she rubbed some on me head
And I couldn't eat peas with me knife and fork
She said: Now, never you mind
She went, and she got a celery stalk
And we rolled them down one at a time
Colleen, Colleen
Oh, I'm aching for you
Colleen, Colleen
My heart's breaking for you
Now, she's got a touch of the foul pest
And she acts in a very odd way
She thinks that she's a chicken
And she cackles all-day
Oh, send for the psychiatrist
Her poor old father begged
But Mum says
Let the girl alone
You know we need the eggs
Colleen, Colleen
Oh, I'm aching for you
Colleen, Colleen
My heart's breaking for you
Now, we've married
And we've settled in a cottage near Ravout
The bed is all broken
And the springs are sticking out
But when I recall our nights together
My heart, it wants to sing
We kissed all through the winter
And made love right through the spring
Colleen, Colleen
Oh, I'm aching for you
Colleen, Colleen
My heart's breaking for you
