- 1
Jazz Butcher - Big Old Wind
- 2
Jazz Butcher - Chickentown
- 3
Jazz Butcher - Excellent!
- 4
Jazz Butcher - Fertiliser
- 5
Jazz Butcher - Girls Who Keep Goldfish
- 6
Jazz Butcher - Grey Flannelette
- 7
Jazz Butcher - Hysteria
- 8
Jazz Butcher - It Has To Be You
- 9
Jazz Butcher - Only A Rumour
- 10
Jazz Butcher - Rain
- 11
Jazz Butcher - Baby, It's You
- 12
Jazz Butcher - Bad Dream Lover
- 13
Jazz Butcher - Ben
- 14
Jazz Butcher - Big Saturday
- 15
Jazz Butcher - Bigfoot Motel
- 16
Jazz Butcher - Caroline Wheeler's Birthday Present
- 17
Jazz Butcher - Chinatown
- 18
Jazz Butcher - Cowgirl Fever
- 19
Jazz Butcher - Do The Bubonic Plague
- 20
Jazz Butcher - Domestic Animal
- 21
Jazz Butcher - Down The Drain
- 22
Jazz Butcher - Get It Wrong
- 23
Jazz Butcher - Ghosts
- 24
Jazz Butcher - Girl-Go
- 25
Jazz Butcher - Girlfriend
- 26
Jazz Butcher - Grooving In The Bus Lane
- 27
Jazz Butcher - Hard
- 28
Jazz Butcher - I Need Meat
- 29
Jazz Butcher - Land
- 30
Jazz Butcher - Line Of Death
- 31
Jazz Butcher - Looking For Lot 49
- 32
Jazz Butcher - Lulu's Nightmare
- 33
Jazz Butcher - Mind Like A Playgroup
- 34
Jazz Butcher - Monkeyface
- 35
Jazz Butcher - Partytime
- 36
Jazz Butcher - Peter Lorre
- 37
Jazz Butcher - President Chang
- 38
Jazz Butcher - President Reagan's Birthday Present
- 39
Jazz Butcher - Real Men
- 40
Jazz Butcher - Red Pets
- 41
Jazz Butcher - She's On Drugs
- 42
Jazz Butcher - Sister Death
- 43
Jazz Butcher - Susie
- 44
Jazz Butcher - The New World
- 45
Jazz Butcher - Thing
- 46
Jazz Butcher - True Stories
- 47
Jazz Butcher - Water
- 48
Jazz Butcher - Whaddya?
- 49
Jazz Butcher - Who Loves You Now
- 50
Jazz Butcher - Almost Brooklyn
- 51
Jazz Butcher - Angel Station
- 52
Jazz Butcher - Angels
- 53
Jazz Butcher - Bakersfield
- 54
Jazz Butcher - Baltic
- 55
Jazz Butcher - Bath Of Bacon
- 56
Jazz Butcher - Bicycle Kid
- 57
Jazz Butcher - Big Bad Thing
- 58
Jazz Butcher - Big Cats
- 59
Jazz Butcher - Blame
- 60
Jazz Butcher - Blues For Dean Read
- 61
Jazz Butcher - Buffalo Shame
- 62
Jazz Butcher - Burglar Of Love
- 63
Jazz Butcher - Call Me
- 64
Jazz Butcher - City Of Night
- 65
Jazz Butcher - Come On, Marie
- 66
Jazz Butcher - Conspiracy
- 67
Jazz Butcher - Cops And Hospitals
- 68
Jazz Butcher - Cute Submarines
- 69
Jazz Butcher - Daycare Nation
- 70
Jazz Butcher - Death Dentist
- 71
Jazz Butcher - Diamorphine
- 72
Jazz Butcher - Drink
- 73
Jazz Butcher - Falling In Love
- 74
Jazz Butcher - Forever
- 75
Jazz Butcher - Girls Say Yes
- 76
Jazz Butcher - Harlan
- 77
Jazz Butcher - Holiday
- 78
Jazz Butcher - Honey
- 79
Jazz Butcher - Hungarian Love Song
- 80
Jazz Butcher - I Hate Love
- 81
Jazz Butcher - Just Like Betty Page
- 82
Jazz Butcher - Keeping The Curtains Closed
- 83
Jazz Butcher - Kids In The Mall/Kaliningrad
- 84
Jazz Butcher - Killed Out
- 85
Jazz Butcher - La Mer
- 86
Jazz Butcher - Living In A Village
- 87
Jazz Butcher - Lost In France
- 88
Jazz Butcher - Love Kittens
- 89
Jazz Butcher - Marnie
- 90
Jazz Butcher - Mister Siberia
- 91
Jazz Butcher - Mr. Odd
- 92
Jazz Butcher - My Desert
- 93
Jazz Butcher - My Zeppelin
- 94
Jazz Butcher - New Invention
- 95
Jazz Butcher - Next Move Sideways
- 96
Jazz Butcher - Niagara
- 97
Jazz Butcher - Nightmare Being
- 98
Jazz Butcher - Nothing Special
- 99
Jazz Butcher - Old Snakey
- 100
Jazz Butcher - Olof Palme
- 101
Jazz Butcher - Our Friends The Filth
- 102
Jazz Butcher - Out Of Touch
- 103
Jazz Butcher - Panic In Room 109
- 104
Jazz Butcher - Penguins
- 105
Jazz Butcher - Pineapple Tuesday
- 106
Jazz Butcher - Poisoned By Food
- 107
Jazz Butcher - Racheland
- 108
Jazz Butcher - Scarlett
- 109
Jazz Butcher - Sex Engine
- 110
Jazz Butcher - She's A Yo-Yo
- 111
Jazz Butcher - Shirley Maclaine
- 112
Jazz Butcher - Sixteen Years
- 113
Jazz Butcher - Soul Happy Hour
- 114
Jazz Butcher - Southern Mark Smith
- 115
Jazz Butcher - Sweet Water
- 116
Jazz Butcher - Swell
- 117
Jazz Butcher - The Ballad Of Tiny And Clyde
- 118
Jazz Butcher - The Human Jungle
- 119
Jazz Butcher - Vienna Song
- 120
Jazz Butcher - Vodka Girls
- 121
Jazz Butcher - Walk With The Devil
- 122
Jazz Butcher - What's The Matter
- 123
Jazz Butcher - When Eno Sings
- 124
Jazz Butcher - Whitfield, Sarah & The Birchfield Road Affair
- 125
Jazz Butcher - Zombie Love
Caroline Wheeler's Birthday Present
Jazz Butcher
ESTER!
Burke and Hare!
ESTER, I'm coming for you, ESTER, ESTER.
SAUSAGES! SAUSAGES! ESTER! ESTER! SAUSAGES!
We're gonna tell you something really big (ESTER!)
Like the Alice Cooper Group.
ESTER! Alice Cooper, baby! Alice Cooper!
Uh-uhrrrmm... Like the Alice Cooper Group.
Do you wanna touch me? DEAD BABIES!
See, there's been some big, big things, and some are bigger than others,
And when one might get up and go out of the room, he gets replaced with another.
Now some of these are monsters, the kind that live in the lakes (WHEURRRR!)
And other kinds are like Metal Men, and other kinds are BIG SNAKES.
But they don't look like nothing, they don't look like nothing at all.
They don't look like nothing when you put them up against Caroline Wheeler's Birthday Present.
That's: CAROLINE WHEELER'S BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
Did ya get that, Joe? (CRAZY!) ESTER, I'M WAITING...
Ner! Ner! Ner!
SAUSAGES! Caroline Wheeler's Birthday Present was made entirely from the skins of dead Jim Morrisons (Scattered over dawn's bleeding highway, I suppose...): that's why it smelled so bad.
Caroline Wheeler checked into the lobby of the Bruce Grobelaar Leisure Centre
(they check in, but they don't check out) - she was looking for a room where she could sit down and get herself back in order (ORDER!)...
SHEESH!, thought Caroline, What the HELL was that? (Edgar Wallace!)
So she goes to the elevator, she thinks "Well, that'll be pretty straightforward" (Yes, STRAIGHT UP, Caroline...) You know what she finds?
The elevator breaks down with Caroline and the fish in it.
(Fish?) (Uh-oh...)
Do you know what happens if you leave a fish too long in an elevator?
You don't? (Uncontrollable Celtic whooping from Jones)
Well, here's a clue: fish is biodegradable. (THAT MEANS IT ROTS.)
Ner! Ner! Ner!
Well, there's some big, big things and they travel in big, big cars:
Cars like a Mercedes with a big tow-bar (WHERE'S ESTER?)
But there ain't no vehicle big enough,
They just ain't built the vehicle big enough yet to hold the thing that men call Caroline Wheeler's Birthday Present (caroline wheeler's birthday present)
That's: CAROLINE WHEELER'S BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
(Heck! Here comes the hell drivers!)
(Vroom!)
(OUCH!)
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