- 1
Jazz Butcher - Big Saturday
- 2
Jazz Butcher - Chinatown
- 3
Jazz Butcher - Scarlett
- 4
Jazz Butcher - Angels
- 5
Jazz Butcher - Bicycle Kid
- 6
Jazz Butcher - Bigfoot Motel
- 7
Jazz Butcher - Blues For Dean Read
- 8
Jazz Butcher - Caroline Wheeler's Birthday Present
- 9
Jazz Butcher - Daycare Nation
- 10
Jazz Butcher - Get It Wrong
- 11
Jazz Butcher - Girl-Go
- 12
Jazz Butcher - Girlfriend
- 13
Jazz Butcher - Hard
- 14
Jazz Butcher - Harlan
- 15
Jazz Butcher - Honey
- 16
Jazz Butcher - Hungarian Love Song
- 17
Jazz Butcher - Hysteria
- 18
Jazz Butcher - Kids In The Mall/Kaliningrad
- 19
Jazz Butcher - My Desert
- 20
Jazz Butcher - Out Of Touch
- 21
Jazz Butcher - President Chang
- 22
Jazz Butcher - President Reagan's Birthday Present
- 23
Jazz Butcher - Red Pets
- 24
Jazz Butcher - Sweet Water
- 25
Jazz Butcher - Swell
- 26
Jazz Butcher - The Human Jungle
- 27
Jazz Butcher - The New World
- 28
Jazz Butcher - True Stories
- 29
Jazz Butcher - Vienna Song
- 30
Jazz Butcher - Walk With The Devil
- 31
Jazz Butcher - Almost Brooklyn
- 32
Jazz Butcher - Angel Station
- 33
Jazz Butcher - Baby, It's You
- 34
Jazz Butcher - Bad Dream Lover
- 35
Jazz Butcher - Bakersfield
- 36
Jazz Butcher - Baltic
- 37
Jazz Butcher - Bath Of Bacon
- 38
Jazz Butcher - Ben
- 39
Jazz Butcher - Big Bad Thing
- 40
Jazz Butcher - Big Cats
- 41
Jazz Butcher - Big Old Wind
- 42
Jazz Butcher - Blame
- 43
Jazz Butcher - Buffalo Shame
- 44
Jazz Butcher - Burglar Of Love
- 45
Jazz Butcher - Call Me
- 46
Jazz Butcher - Chickentown
- 47
Jazz Butcher - City Of Night
- 48
Jazz Butcher - Come On, Marie
- 49
Jazz Butcher - Conspiracy
- 50
Jazz Butcher - Cops And Hospitals
- 51
Jazz Butcher - Cowgirl Fever
- 52
Jazz Butcher - Cute Submarines
- 53
Jazz Butcher - Death Dentist
- 54
Jazz Butcher - Diamorphine
- 55
Jazz Butcher - Do The Bubonic Plague
- 56
Jazz Butcher - Domestic Animal
- 57
Jazz Butcher - Down The Drain
- 58
Jazz Butcher - Drink
- 59
Jazz Butcher - Excellent!
- 60
Jazz Butcher - Falling In Love
- 61
Jazz Butcher - Fertiliser
- 62
Jazz Butcher - Forever
- 63
Jazz Butcher - Ghosts
- 64
Jazz Butcher - Girls Say Yes
- 65
Jazz Butcher - Girls Who Keep Goldfish
- 66
Jazz Butcher - Grey Flannelette
- 67
Jazz Butcher - Grooving In The Bus Lane
- 68
Jazz Butcher - Holiday
- 69
Jazz Butcher - I Hate Love
- 70
Jazz Butcher - I Need Meat
- 71
Jazz Butcher - It Has To Be You
- 72
Jazz Butcher - Just Like Betty Page
- 73
Jazz Butcher - Keeping The Curtains Closed
- 74
Jazz Butcher - Killed Out
- 75
Jazz Butcher - La Mer
- 76
Jazz Butcher - Land
- 77
Jazz Butcher - Line Of Death
- 78
Jazz Butcher - Living In A Village
- 79
Jazz Butcher - Looking For Lot 49
- 80
Jazz Butcher - Lost In France
- 81
Jazz Butcher - Love Kittens
- 82
Jazz Butcher - Lulu's Nightmare
- 83
Jazz Butcher - Marnie
- 84
Jazz Butcher - Mind Like A Playgroup
- 85
Jazz Butcher - Mister Siberia
- 86
Jazz Butcher - Monkeyface
- 87
Jazz Butcher - Mr. Odd
- 88
Jazz Butcher - My Zeppelin
- 89
Jazz Butcher - New Invention
- 90
Jazz Butcher - Next Move Sideways
- 91
Jazz Butcher - Niagara
- 92
Jazz Butcher - Nightmare Being
- 93
Jazz Butcher - Nothing Special
- 94
Jazz Butcher - Old Snakey
- 95
Jazz Butcher - Olof Palme
- 96
Jazz Butcher - Only A Rumour
- 97
Jazz Butcher - Our Friends The Filth
- 98
Jazz Butcher - Panic In Room 109
- 99
Jazz Butcher - Partytime
- 100
Jazz Butcher - Penguins
- 101
Jazz Butcher - Peter Lorre
- 102
Jazz Butcher - Pineapple Tuesday
- 103
Jazz Butcher - Poisoned By Food
- 104
Jazz Butcher - Racheland
- 105
Jazz Butcher - Rain
- 106
Jazz Butcher - Real Men
- 107
Jazz Butcher - Sex Engine
- 108
Jazz Butcher - She's A Yo-Yo
- 109
Jazz Butcher - She's On Drugs
- 110
Jazz Butcher - Shirley Maclaine
- 111
Jazz Butcher - Sister Death
- 112
Jazz Butcher - Sixteen Years
- 113
Jazz Butcher - Soul Happy Hour
- 114
Jazz Butcher - Southern Mark Smith
- 115
Jazz Butcher - Susie
- 116
Jazz Butcher - The Ballad Of Tiny And Clyde
- 117
Jazz Butcher - Thing
- 118
Jazz Butcher - Vodka Girls
- 119
Jazz Butcher - Water
- 120
Jazz Butcher - Whaddya?
- 121
Jazz Butcher - What's The Matter
- 122
Jazz Butcher - When Eno Sings
- 123
Jazz Butcher - Whitfield, Sarah & The Birchfield Road Affair
- 124
Jazz Butcher - Who Loves You Now
- 125
Jazz Butcher - Zombie Love
Caroline Wheeler's Birthday Present
Jazz Butcher
ESTER!
Burke and Hare!
ESTER, I'm coming for you, ESTER, ESTER.
SAUSAGES! SAUSAGES! ESTER! ESTER! SAUSAGES!
We're gonna tell you something really big (ESTER!)
Like the Alice Cooper Group.
ESTER! Alice Cooper, baby! Alice Cooper!
Uh-uhrrrmm... Like the Alice Cooper Group.
Do you wanna touch me? DEAD BABIES!
See, there's been some big, big things, and some are bigger than others,
And when one might get up and go out of the room, he gets replaced with another.
Now some of these are monsters, the kind that live in the lakes (WHEURRRR!)
And other kinds are like Metal Men, and other kinds are BIG SNAKES.
But they don't look like nothing, they don't look like nothing at all.
They don't look like nothing when you put them up against Caroline Wheeler's Birthday Present.
That's: CAROLINE WHEELER'S BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
Did ya get that, Joe? (CRAZY!) ESTER, I'M WAITING...
Ner! Ner! Ner!
SAUSAGES! Caroline Wheeler's Birthday Present was made entirely from the skins of dead Jim Morrisons (Scattered over dawn's bleeding highway, I suppose...): that's why it smelled so bad.
Caroline Wheeler checked into the lobby of the Bruce Grobelaar Leisure Centre
(they check in, but they don't check out) - she was looking for a room where she could sit down and get herself back in order (ORDER!)...
SHEESH!, thought Caroline, What the HELL was that? (Edgar Wallace!)
So she goes to the elevator, she thinks "Well, that'll be pretty straightforward" (Yes, STRAIGHT UP, Caroline...) You know what she finds?
The elevator breaks down with Caroline and the fish in it.
(Fish?) (Uh-oh...)
Do you know what happens if you leave a fish too long in an elevator?
You don't? (Uncontrollable Celtic whooping from Jones)
Well, here's a clue: fish is biodegradable. (THAT MEANS IT ROTS.)
Ner! Ner! Ner!
Well, there's some big, big things and they travel in big, big cars:
Cars like a Mercedes with a big tow-bar (WHERE'S ESTER?)
But there ain't no vehicle big enough,
They just ain't built the vehicle big enough yet to hold the thing that men call Caroline Wheeler's Birthday Present (caroline wheeler's birthday present)
That's: CAROLINE WHEELER'S BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
(Heck! Here comes the hell drivers!)
(Vroom!)
(OUCH!)
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