We're a couple of swells
 
 We stop at the best hotels
 
 But we prefer the country far away from the city smells
 
 We're a couple of sports
 
 The pride of the tennis courts
 
 In June, July and August we look cute when we're dressed in shorts
 
 The Vanderbilts have asked us up for tea
 
 We don't know how to get there, no siree
 
 No, siree
 
  
  We would drive up the Avenue, but we haven't got the price
 
 We would skate up the Avenue, but there isn't any ice
 
 We would ride on a bicycle, but we haven't got a bike
 
 So we'll walk up the Avenue
 
 Yes, we'll walk up the Avenue
 
 And to walk up the Avenue's what we like
  
 
 Wall Street bankers are we
 
 With plenty of currency
 
 We'd open up the safe but we forgot where we put the key
 
 We're the favorite lads
 
 Of girls in the picture ads
 
 We'd like to tell you who we kissed last night but we can't be cads
 
 The Vanderbilts are waiting at the club
 
 But how are we to get there, that's the rub
 
 That's the rub
  
 
 We would sail up the Avenue, but we haven't got a yacht
 
 We would drive up the Avenue, but the horse we had was shot
 
 We would ride on a trolley car but we haven't got the fare
 
 So we'll walk up the Avenue
 
 Yes, we'll walk up the Avenue
 
 Yes, we'll walk up the Avenue till we're there
  
 
 We would swim up the Avenue but we haven't any lake
 
 So we'll walk up the Avenue
 
 Yes, we'll walk up the Avenue
 
 Yes, a walk up the Avenue's what we'll take