The emptiness I harboured in the questions that I asked
Was almost palpable, it tasted like the soft skin on your back
And when I said: Where did you go?”
What I meant was
Since you left, I have haven’t had the chance to hate you
Nearly half as much as I’ve hated myself
We were in love, at least that’s what I came to call it
I was never really quite sure if it was
Because in growing up the hardest lesson learned
Is just because you love someone
It doesn’t mean they love you in return
I always thought you’d fade when I buried you and me
But on our grave a bed of flowers bloomed
And now each day you grow more beautiful as I’m left to decay
I guess it’s true that some things never change
It’s been quite a long time now but I’m still so weak
I found a bliss in my ignorance until ignorance found hell in me
When I said “where did you go?”
What I meant was
“Since you left I haven’t had the chance to hate you half as much as I loved you then”
It’s been a long time now
But I still spend my nights laying away
The kind of tired that sleep wouldn’t shake
The kind of empty that fills the entire space in my chest cavity
Where I tried to keep you safe; but you escaped
It’s been quite a long time now but I’m still so weak
I found a bliss in my ignorance until ignorance found hell in me
When I said “where did you go?”
What I meant was
Since you left, I haven’t had the chance to hate you
Half as much as I loved you then
