Everyday you'll find her out there 
 
 Crouched down on her knees 
 
 Rain or shine she spends some time 
 
 Yet her yard is full of weeds 
 
 One day while watching from my window 
 
 And much to my surprise 
 
 I found out her dirty secret 
 
 She tried so hard to hide 
 
  
  Normal by all appearances 
 
 No one would suspect 
 
 The nice old woman from next door 
 
 Is a filthy wretch 
 
 She fingers through the soil 
 
 And she picks the pebbles out 
 
 Then scoops up a spoonful 
 
 And pops it in her mouth 
  
 
 Consuming clumps of earth 
 
 She gobbles clots of dirt 
 
 The grit and grime she eats 
 
 Gets caught between her teeth 
  
 
 [Guitar solo: Martinez] 
  
 
 Scarfing scum and mulch and muck 
 
 A frantic feasting binge 
 
 She stuffs her withered cheeks so full 
 
 Mud dribbles down her chin 
 
 She shovels gravel in her face 
 
 And swallows every bit 
 
 I'll bet you that it hurts like hell 
 
 When she takes a shit 
  
 
 Consuming clumps of earth 
 
 She gobbles clots of dirt 
 
 The grit and grime she eats 
 
 Gets caught between her teeth