1. 1

    Dane Cook - Abducted

  2. 2

    Dane Cook - Bathroom

  3. 3

    Dane Cook - Car Accident

  4. 4

    Dane Cook - Don't Tickle Me!

  5. 5

    Dane Cook - Fireman & Policeman and Mini Putt Security Guard

  6. 6

    Dane Cook - Five Sisters

  7. 7

    Dane Cook - Forward

  8. 8

    Dane Cook - Fuk And The Finga

  9. 9

    Dane Cook - I'll Never Be You

  10. 10

    Dane Cook - Intro

  11. 11

    Dane Cook - Itchy asshole

  12. 12

    Dane Cook - Just Wanna Dance

  13. 13

    Dane Cook - Not So Kool-aid

  14. 14

    Dane Cook - Operation - Monopoly

  15. 15

    Dane Cook - Parking Structure

  16. 16

    Dane Cook - Pregnant Lady

  17. 17

    Dane Cook - Simon Said

  18. 18

    Dane Cook - Slip 'N' Bleed

  19. 19

    Dane Cook - Speak'n'spell

  20. 20

    Dane Cook - Superpowers

  21. 21

    Dane Cook - The BK Lounge

  22. 22

    Dane Cook - Tire in The Face

  23. 23

    Dane Cook - Umm, Hello?

  24. 24

    Dane Cook - Would You Rather...

Not So Kool-aid

Dane Cook

I'll tell you what dream used to scare me when I was a little kid
Used to actually totally give me nightmares:
Remember those kool-aid commercials?
Where that, no, that talking bowl of punch
He would come crashing through your fuckin' wall in your living room?
You wouldn't even know it (crash)
Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh Yeah!
Right? And all the little kids were all excited. "Yes! Yes!"
And then they would drink out of him after debris fell in his open, dumb head.
He would pour himself. "Oh yeah! Oh yeah!"
Him and his crazy tights.
I don't like that. I don't like when juice wears tights.
It's a horrible combination, a bowl of juice wearing tights.
Fuck drinking out of him, if that was me I'd be like
"No, no, no. You fix that wall before my dad gets home from work.
He's gunna beat me with a belt,
He's not gonna believe a talking bowl of fruit punch came in here.
You stupid idiot.
Yeah comin' through the wall is real fuckin' cool.
Using the front door is cool! Don't touch me you drink!
Don't touch me you giant beverage!
You are sweating or condensating,
I will kick you in the tights and you will go down your very top heavy.
You glass bitch.
You glass bastard."
"Oh yeah!"
"Oh no. Naughty, naughty kool-aid."
"Oh yeah?"
"No, no"
"Oh yeah?"
"No."

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