- 1
Half Man Half Biscuit - (live!)
- 2
Half Man Half Biscuit - 1966 And All That
- 3
Half Man Half Biscuit - 4AD3DCD
- 4
Half Man Half Biscuit - A Country Practice
- 5
Half Man Half Biscuit - A Lilac Harry Quinn
- 6
Half Man Half Biscuit - A Shropshire Lad
- 7
Half Man Half Biscuit - All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla-prague Away Kit
- 8
Half Man Half Biscuit - Arthur's Farm
- 9
Half Man Half Biscuit - Bob Wilson, Anchorman
- 10
Half Man Half Biscuit - Christian Rock Concert
- 11
Half Man Half Biscuit - Corgi Registered Friends
- 12
Half Man Half Biscuit - D'you Ken Ted Mould
- 13
Half Man Half Biscuit - Dickie Davis Eyes
- 14
Half Man Half Biscuit - Evening Of Swing (Has Been Cancelled)
- 15
Half Man Half Biscuit - Everything's AOR
- 16
Half Man Half Biscuit - For What Is Chatteris
- 17
Half Man Half Biscuit - Girlfriend's Finished With Him
- 18
Half Man Half Biscuit - He Who Would Valium Take
- 19
Half Man Half Biscuit - Hedley Verityesque
- 20
Half Man Half Biscuit - I Hate Nerys Hughes
- 21
Half Man Half Biscuit - I Was A Teenage Armchair Hon Ved Fan
- 22
Half Man Half Biscuit - If I Had Possession Over Pancake Day
- 23
Half Man Half Biscuit - Joy In Leeuwarden (We Are Ready)
- 24
Half Man Half Biscuit - Keeping Two Chevrons Apart
- 25
Half Man Half Biscuit - Let's Not
- 26
Half Man Half Biscuit - Lock Up Your Mountain Bikes
- 27
Half Man Half Biscuit - Look Dad No Tunes
- 28
Half Man Half Biscuit - National Shite Day
- 29
Half Man Half Biscuit - Ordinary to Enschede
- 30
Half Man Half Biscuit - Our Tune
- 31
Half Man Half Biscuit - Outbreak of Vitus Gerulaitis
- 32
Half Man Half Biscuit - Paintballs Coming Home
- 33
Half Man Half Biscuit - Prag Vec at the Melkweg
- 34
Half Man Half Biscuit - Reasons to Be Miserable
- 35
Half Man Half Biscuit - Restless Legs
- 36
Half Man Half Biscuit - Rod Hull Is Alive, Why?
- 37
Half Man Half Biscuit - Sealclubbing
- 38
Half Man Half Biscuit - Shit arm, bad tattoo
- 39
Half Man Half Biscuit - Song Of Encouragement For The Orme Ascent
- 40
Half Man Half Biscuit - The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman
- 41
Half Man Half Biscuit - The Best Things In Life
- 42
Half Man Half Biscuit - The Light At The End Of The Tunnel (Is The Light O
- 43
Half Man Half Biscuit - The Referees Alphabet
- 44
Half Man Half Biscuit - Them's the Vagaries
- 45
Half Man Half Biscuit - Time Flies By (When You're a Driver of a Train)
- 46
Half Man Half Biscuit - Trumpton Riots
- 47
Half Man Half Biscuit - Twenty-Four Hour Garage People
- 48
Half Man Half Biscuit - Tyrolean Knockabout
- 49
Half Man Half Biscuit - Vatican Broadside
- 50
Half Man Half Biscuit - When The Evening Sun Goes Down
- 51
Half Man Half Biscuit - Yipps (My Baby Got The)
- 52
Half Man Half Biscuit - You're Hard
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla-prague Away Kit
Half Man Half Biscuit
{? Odds scale ?} Amsterdam,
The cards are down;
He thought he was better than you,
And the day after school,
You'd go around there to play him,
Hoping to compete for some kind championship,
And it always took about 15 billion hours to set the track up.
And even when you did, the thing never seemed to work.
It was a dodgy transformer, again and again.
It was a dodgy transformer, again and again.
It was a dodgy blue mass, again and again.
It was a dodgy transformer, cost 3 pounds 10.
So he sent his doting mother
Up the stairs with the stepladder,
To get the {? Sub-u-dome ?}
Out of the loft.
It had all the accessories
Required for that big-match atmosphere.
The crowd and the dugout,
And the floodlights, too.
And you'd always get palmed off
With a headless center-forward,
And a goal-kicker with no arms,
And a face like his.
And he'd managed to get hold of
A Dukla-Prague Away Kit,
His uncle owned a sport shop
And he'd kept it to one side.
And after only five minutes
You'd be down to ten men,
And then he said he'd be right back
While taking the base from under his left-wing.
Come to half-time, you were losing, four-nil.
Each and every goal, {? are partly because of some os his ?} stupid penalties.
So you smash up the floodlights
And the game was abandoned,
And the bog would bark
And you'd be banned from his house.
And your travelling army
Of synthetic supporters
Would be taken away from you
And thrown in the bin.
And now he's working
In a job with a future.
He hands me my Gyro (as in gyroscope, not "hero")
Every two weeks.
And me, I'm on the lookout
For a proper transformer.
Uh?!
