Gonna tell you a story that you won't believe
 
 But I fell in love last Friday evenin'
 
 With a girl I saw on a bar room TV screen
 
 Well I was just gettin' ready to get my hat
 
 When she caught my eye and I put it back
 
 And I ordered myself a couple o' more shots and beers
 
  
  The night (you know) that I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen
 
 (Round 'n' round, oh round 'n' round) 
 
 The meanest hunk o' woman
 
 That anybody ever seen
 
 Down in the arena
  
 
 She is a five foot six and two fifteen 
 
 A bleached-blonde mama with a streak of mean
 
 She knew how to knuckle
 
 And she knew how to scuffle and fight
 
 And the roller derby program said
 
 That she were built like a 'fridgerator with a head
 
 The fans called her "Tuffy"
 
 But all her buddies called her "Spike"
  
 
 Round 'n' round, go round 'n' round (3 x's) 
  
 
 Well I could not help it but to fall in love
 
 With this heavy-duty woman I been speakin' of
 
 Things looked kind of bad
 
 Until the day she skated into my life
  
 
 Well she might be nasty she might be fat
 
 But I never met a person who would tell her that
 
 She's my big blonde bomber
 
 My heavy handed Hackensack mama
  
 
 Round 'n' round, go round 'n' round (3 x's)