My body's here but my mind is out there
It's somewhere racing
I spent a lot of time tryna get to this time and place
Today is basically the biggest day of my life
I get to help in saving this guy
He suffers from some nearly fatal form of pericardial heart disease
And we're supposed to operate
But I can't concentrate
I only contemplate
Damn, is this what I want?
Is this right?
What the hell am I doing with my life?
I studied cardiology but I don't know the matters of the heart
Placed out of painstaking pace from the start
And now I'm in doubt 'bout the route I take
What does my heart say?
In my heart
There's a melody
But I can't hear it clearly
It appears to steer me
When times are severe like here
There's something truly daunting and haunting
About wanting to be a doctor
Guarding someone's life in your hands
The life of another man
To be literally the last stand
Between this man
And God's plan
His heartbeat fleets
And that's when the pressure kicks
My gut becomes sick
This moment, this tick
Makes me wish and fantasize
Myself in another life
What if I chased the dreams that I wanted this whole time?
My pop says
This job is a long-term provider
And I like my job
But I wanted to be a songwriter
Music
I love music
I love the many effects it has
Depending on how you choose to use it
It could be amusing or therapeutic
It's oozing with treasures to be discovered
It's pleasure for me I love it
Check this out
This is a regression line
Every hit song since '79
And all day long this is on my mind
There's so much information
From tempo, to key changes
Chord progressions, so many lessons!
For example
Did you know if you take the key of a song up
Everything gets more exciting
The song gets more enticing
Feels like it's rising
And if you take it back down
I don't really know what that does yet
Some people get upset
Anyways, there's nothing that can contest
With the dopamine that comes over me
When I hear a dope rhyme scheme
And it's dope, I mean
Every line seems to convey a sacred promise
To the next
It's the best
Every day at any moment
I'm hit with a wave of serotonin
Flows sicker than the patients that I know here
So here's a-
This job sucks, I hate this job
I really fricking hate this job
And there's no one on the mother-lovin' face of the planet
To make me say 'Thanks for this job'
Only reason I have this job
Father told me to get this job
Demanded I land a solitarian life in med school
To be granted monetary advancements
I don't think it's all about the money
And it's kind of funny
I think everybody's got a hobby that they love
And when I think about it
Every time I step up in the operatin'
All I really wanna do is sing and write songs
Yes, I'm depressed, I confess
Incessantly pressed for success
But success should be self-defined
So where do I draw the line?
Imagine having the mental capacity
Only to question the lessons you've learned
Learned
If you're not messing your lessons
You're lessening how much you sleep when you burn
Burn
Look how the tables have turned
Turned
This only leads to stress
Stress
You need to get your ass to class and pass the test
Test
Yes, go be the best of the best
Do not succumb to the stress
You must impress
Teach yourself how to finesse
Learn to survive without rest
Unless
You're going to manage your time
But all I can think of are lyrics and rhymes
How do I deal with the pressure?
How do I deal with the pressure?
