Chip On My Shoulder

[Emmet]
Whoa, Elle? What's up, Doc?

[Elle]
Love

[Emmet]
Excuse me?

[Elle]
I put my faith in love
I followed where it led

[Emmet]
Love led you here?

[Elle]
To my personal circle of Hell
It has not worked out well
I wish that I were dead
Cause instead of a wedding in love
I'm flunking out of school
A total laughing stock
Someone he and his friends could just mock
So go on, here's my head
Just hit it with a rock!

[Emmet]
Wait, go back!

You came out here to follow a man
Harvard law was just part of that plan
Man, what rich romantic planet are you from?

[Elle]
Malibu?

[Emmet]
Instead of lying outside by the pool
You stalk some guy to an ivy league school?
That's the weirdest reason I have-

[Elle]
Oh, why'd you come?

[Emmet]
Okay

I grew up in the Roxbury slums
With my mom and a series of bums
Guys who showed me all the ways a man can fail

I got through law school by busting my ass
Worked two jobs in addition to class
So forgive me for not weeping at your tale

[Elle]
Well excuse me
Just because you've got some kind of chip on your shoulder

[Emmet]
You know what? You're right

There's a chip on my shoulder
And it's big as a boulder
With the chance I've been given
I'm gonna be driven as hell

I'm so close I can taste it
So I'm not gonna waste it
Yeah, there's a chip on my shoulder
You might wanna get one as well

[Elle]
I'm sorry, but that sounds highly negative. Wait!
Two jobs plus law school?! How do you do it?

[Emmet]
Well, I don't go to parties a lot
Not good use of the time that I've got
Can't spend hours doing my hair and staying in shape

[Elle]
I don't spend hours!

[Emmet]
But I know it'll all be worthwhile
When I win my first lucrative trial
And buy my mom that great big house out on the Cape!

[Elle]
Oh, that's so sweet!

[Emmet]
No, that's the chip on my shoulder
I hugged my mom and told her
With the chance I've been given
I'm gonna be driven as hell

Though I can't take the day off
I just think of the payoff
You need a chip on your shoulder
Little Miss Woods comma Elle

[Elle]
I just need to prove to everyone that I'm serious!

[Emmet]
What you need is to get to work! Where are your law books?

[Elle]
Umm, well, I know they're here somewhere

[Emmet]
You know, this vanity's real picturesque
But it started its life as a desk
Clear it off, and find some room for books instead

[Elle]
What are you doing?!

[Emmet]
Can you live without this?
Can you live without that?
I don't know what this is

[Elle]
It's for hair!

[Emmet]
Wear a hat!
Spend some time improving what's inside your head!

Out, out, put it in storage, sell it on eBay, leave it behind
Out, out, what, are you angry?
Good, so get angry! You may find
The chip on your shoulder

[Elle]
Argh!

[Emmet]
The room just got colder

[Elle]
Hey!

[Emmet]
But with the chance you've been given
Why are you not driven as hell?!
There's just no way around it
You gotta plow through til you've

[Elle]
Found it!

[Emmet]
Been reading it hard, I can tell

[Delta Nu girls]
Tis a gift to be simple
Tis a gift to be free
Hmm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm

[Elle]
Bye, Warner! Have a great Thanksgiving!
Say hi to your mom and dad for me! And Grandma Bootsie

[Emmet]
Define malum prohibitum

[Elle]
Malum prohibitum is, umm

[Emmet]
An act prohibited--

[Elle]
An act prohibited by law like jaywalking or chewing gum in Singapore

[Emmet]
Therefore malum ensae?

[Elle]
Is an action
That is evil in itself
Assualt, murder, white shoes after labor day

[Emmet]
Good
Where are you going?

[Elle]
Home, of course!
It's Thanksgiving break, remember?

[Emmet]
Interesting

[Elle]
What?

[Emmet]
Well, I predict you will probably pass

[Elle]
Yes!

[Emmet]
In the bottom percent of your class

[Elle]
What?

[Emmet]
If you're going for mediocre, you've done great!

[Elle]
That's not fair!

[Emmet]
Look, they laughed at me like they're laughing at you
We can't win if we don't follow through!
Might I venture your vacation plans can wait?

[Elle]
Why do you always have to be right?

[Delta Nu girls]
Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ria!
In excelsis deo

[Elle]
Bye, Warner! Merry Christmas! Enjoy Bayo!

[Emmet]
Ho-ho-ho!

[Elle]
Emmett!

[Emmet]
For you! Not as good as going home for Christmas, but

[Elle]
You are too sweet

[Emmet]
It's a real time saver
Shampoo and conditioner in one!

[Elle]
Ah! (Giggles) Thank you
You are so adorable to think of me

[Warner]
Elle, hey!

[Elle]
Warner!

[Warner]
Have you seen Vivian? I've been looking for her everywhere!

[Elle]
Yeah
I-I mean no

[Warner]
Great! We're gonna miss our flight!

[Emmet]
Um, Elle?

I don't know if you've noticed before
But each time Warner walks through the door
Your IQ goes down to 40
Maybe less

[Elle]
Huh?

[Emmet]
Though it's hardly my business to say
Could it be the real thing in your way
Is the very guy you're trying to impress

[Elle]
Yes! I've been smiling and sweeten' thoroughly beaten blowing my chance
Let's not chase him away
Let's face him and say
Hey punk, let's dance!

This chip on my shoulder
Makes me smarter and bolder
No more whining or blaming
I am reclaiming my pride

Grab that book and let's do this
Instead of doodling hearts all through this
Now there's a chip on my shoulder!
Let's see him knock it aside!

[Delta Nu girls]
Ah-ah-ah-ah Daughter of Delta Nu
Show him that you're no fool
Daughter of Delta Nu
Go back to school with a big chip on your shoulder!

[Warner]
Mr. Ladimer was clearly within his rights to ask for visitation
Without his sperm, the child in question wouldn't exist!

[Callahan]
Now you're thinking like a lawyer!
Yes, Miss Woods

[Elle]
Mr. Huntington makes an excellent point
But did the defendant keep a log of every sperm emission made throughout his life?

[Callahan]
Interesting
Why do you ask?

[Elle]
Well, unless the defendant attempted to contact every sexual encounter
To find out if a child resulted from those unions
He has no parental claim over this child whatsoever
Why now? Why this sperm?

[Callahan]
I see your point

[Elle]
And by Mr. Huntington's standards
All masturbatory emissions where the sperm was clearly not seeking an egg
Could be called reckless abandonment

[Callahan]
Miss Woods, you just won your case

[Elle]
Ohmigod

[Delta Nu girls]
Wait, hold on, we just won the case!

[Elle]
Omigod

[Delta Nu girls]
Elle got all up in Warner's face

[Elle]
Omigod

[Delta Nu girls]
I am starting to like this place! Yes! Omigod!

[Callahan]
Miss Woods, excellent work today
I assume you're applying for my internship
Do you have a resume?

[Elle]
I am one step ahead of you
Here you go, and thanks in advance for your consideration

[Callahan]
Dear God, it's scented
Three months ago, I would have recycled this
Make sure to put it on file

[Emmet]
Guess she got a chip on her shoulder
Maybe some wise man told her
With the chance we've been given
We gotta be driven as hell

She was something to see there
I'm just happy I could be there
First big test and she aced it
She's so close she can taste it

She got a chip on her shoulder
Guess you never can te-e-ell
With little Miss Woods comma Elle!

[Delta Nu girls]
Elle Woods
Woods comma Elle
Chip on her shoulder
Elle Woods
Woods comma Elle
Chip on her shoulder

[Emmet]
No you never can tell

[Delta Nu girls]
Elle Woods
Woods comma Elle
Chip on her shoulder

[All]
With little Miss Woods comma Elle