I like apple pie 
 And you like banoffee 
 We both love shopping for furniture 
 And meeting for coffee 
 We pretend we're into art galleries 
 'Cause it makes us feel clever 
 We're both in our element when we're on our knees 
 Whatever the weather 
    I could be your fag hag 
 And you could be my gay 
 I'll never make you feel sad 
 When you come out to play 
 I could be your fag hag 
 And you could be my gay 
 I'll never make you feel sad 
 When you come out to play   
 We don't give a f*ck 
 What people are thinking 
 I know you'll always look out for me 
 When we go out drinking 
 I can ask you things I can't ask anyone 
 And you'll give me direction 
 Apart from me, you're the only other person I know 
 Who reads the travel section   
 I could be your fag hag 
 And you could be my gay 
 I'll never make you feel sad 
 When you come out to play 
 I could be your fag hag 
 And you could be my gay 
 I'll never make you feel sad 
 When you come out to play   
 La 
 Be my gay 
 La   
 I could be your fag hag 
 And you could be my gay 
 I'll never make you feel sad 
 When you come out to play 
 I could be your fag hag 
 And you could be my gay 
 I'll never make you feel sad 
 When you come out to play