Oh my God a human! 
 You've come here so soon and 
 The place is such a mess 
 I barely got dressed and oh my God the cameras are watching! 
    Oh my God my hair 
 Alphys stop that stare-ing 
 You don't want to scare them 
 It's just I can't even deal 
 Come on Alphys don't be weird!   
 So, I'm Alphys, hi! 
 I'm not a bad guy! 
 I could be a guide! 
 'Cause I'm the royal scientist, I know this place!   
 I've been watching you! 
 Seeing a human who 
 Went through with attitude 
 Just fills me with confidence, and not at all at your expense and-   
 I'll take you to the castle 
 It would be no hassle 
 Know what I mean?   
 Well, there's a little issue 
 See I made an artificial 
 Killing machine   
 There's no need to worry, though 
 You have me right here so 
 You'll survive his rage!   
 Though I'll lead from the rear 
 I'll still be here, even when 
 Mettaton steals the stage!   
 I'll lead the way 
 Like in anime 
 You can trust me 
 Mew mew kissy   
 Cutie's my favorite 
 Dangit, Alphys, quit it! 
 Um, sorry, hang on   
 Here's mettaton!