Now if I were a bricklayer,
 
 I wouldn't build just anything,
 
 If I was a ballplayer,
 
 I wouldn't play no second string,
 
 And if I were some jewelry, baby,
 
 Lord, I'd have to be a diamond ring,
 
 If I was a secret, you know I would never be told,
 
 If I was a jug of wine,
 
 Lord, my flavor would be plenty old, 
 
 I could be 'most anything, 
 
 But it got to be 24-karat solid gold
 
  
  
  Chorus:
 
 I'm the Penthouse Pauper; I've got nothing to my name
 
 I'm the Penthouse Pauper; I've got nothing to my name,
 
 I can be 'most anything,
 
 'Cause when you got nothin' it's all the same
  
 
 If I was a gambler, you know I'd never lose,
 
 And if I were a guitar player,
 
 I'd have to play the blues
  
 
 If I was a hacksaw (hatchet), my blade would be razor sharp, 
 
 If I were a politician, I could prove money could talk,
 
 You can find the tallest building,
 
 Lord, you know I'd have the house on top
  
  
 
 Chorus:
 
 I'm the Penthouse Pauper; I've got nothing to my name
 
 I'm the Penthouse Pauper; I've got nothing to my name,
 
 I can be 'most anything, 
 
 'Cause when you got nothin' it's all the same