Well, I've been swinging through these swinging doors for, aww, 
 goin' on probably about 9 years now, maybe even 10 
 And I watch old Joe at the end of the bar with another hot woman 
 on his one good arm and they walk out for a while and he comes back in smilin', again 
 So I finally had to ask old Joe, 
 "Man, what's your secret to success, your power of persuasion over the opposite sex" 
 And he says, "Son, well, honestly, it's pretty simple." 
 He said, "I just kinda walk up and buy her a drink and open up my mouth and… 
    Lie I tell her I'm a movie star 
 I just flew into town to buy this bar 
 I'm only here tonight, that's right 
 I gotta go, yeah, we're filming on location down in Mexico 
 Would you believe that I got the leading role? 
 That's right, honey, I beat out a lot of folks that you'd probably know." 
 Oh, a man has got to do what a man's gotta do 
 Anything it takes to make her think you're cool 
 Ah, you got nothing to lose, so go on and try 
 Just walk right up and smile and look her dead in the eye 
 And lie 
 That's right lie 
 So I tried and tried a couple weekends and 
 it was like strike 1, strike 2, strike out again 
 But I narrowed it down, and I scratched it out, and I came up with something 
 that without a doubt I knew, I was gonna make old Joe proud 
 And I go up and I'd say 
 Hi Honey, whatcha doing for the rest of your life 
 I've been waiting such a long, long time 
 And you know what honey? 
 Meetin' you here, man, it just really feels like fate 
 Oh I, I bet you didn't see me as a marrying type 
 Let's take it slow I don't just want one night, oh no darlin' 
 If you're looking for that you might as well look somewhere else 
 Well, because I'm just not that kind of guy   
 And 
 kids, oh I love kids 
 Dogs, in-laws, and a piece of land 
 Dirty diapers in my mini van 
 Aw man, I can hardly wait   
 Oh a man has got to do what a man's gotta do 
 Anything it takes to make her think you're cool 
 Aw, you got nothin' to lose so go on and try 
 Just walk right up, and smile, and look her dead in the eye 
 You know what you got to do, lie 
 That's right you gotta lie 
 Sometimes you gotta lie