MARK
Enter Tom Collins
Computer genius, teacher, vagabond anarchist
Who ran naked through the Parthenon
MARK AND COLLINS
Bustelo -- Marlboro
Banana by the bunch
A box of Captain Crunch will taste so good
COLLINS
And firewood
MARK
Look -- it's Santa Claus
COLLINS
Hold your applause
ROGER
Oh hi
COLLINS
'Oh hi' after seven months?
ROGER
Sorry
COLLINS
This boy could use some Stoli
COLLINS, MARK AND ROGER
Oh holy night
ROGER
You struck gold at MIT?
COLLINS
They expelled me for my theory of Actual Reality
Which I'll soon impart
To the couch potatoes at New York University
Still haven't left the house?
ROGER
I was waiting for you
Don't you know?
COLLINS
Well, tonight's the night
Come to the Life Cafe after Maureen's show
ROGER
No flow
COLLINS
Gentlemen
Our benefactor on this Christmas Eve
Whose charity is only matched by talent, I believe
A new member of the Alphabet City avant-garde
Angel Dumott Schunard!
ANGEL
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
COLLINS
And you should hear her beat!
MARK
You earned this on the street?
ANGEL
It was my lucky day today on Avenue A
When a lady in a limousine drove my way
She said
"Dahling, be a dear -- Haven't slept in a year
I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear"
"This Akita-Evita just won't shut up
I believe if you play non-stop that pup
Will breathe its very last high-strung breath
I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death"
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
We agreed on a fee
A thousand dollar guarantee
Tax-free
And a bonus if I trim her tree
Now who could foretell that it would go so well
But sure as I am here
That dog is now in doggy hell
After an hour -- Evita --
In all her glory
On the window ledge of that 23rd story
Like Thelma and Louise did when they got the blues
Swan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie Mews
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Then back to the street where I met my sweet
Where he was moaning and groaning on the cold concrete
The nurse took him home for some mercurochrome
And I dressed his wounds and got him back on his feet
Sing it!
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
