Mistress said "I love you Chris"
 
 Can't stand to see you kill yourself like this
 
 He's talking on the car phone
 
 From the driveway of his own home
 
  
  Chris is running from the FBI
 
 He's been indicted as a foreign spy
 
 He tells her on his car phone
 
 He thinks they're both alone
  
 
 Talking, talking
 
 Talking, talking, talking on the car phone
  
 
 I stole a million fake Nintendo chips
 
 But never let it cross your lips
 
 That I told you on the car phone
 
 Or they'll write it on my gravestone
  
 
 I'm gonna help you get that acting job
 
 Got you a lawyer from the mob
 
 He tells her on his car phone
 
 Sends a shiver up her backbone
  
 
 Chorus
  
 
 And if there's anyone in space
 
 What they'll learn about the human race
 
 Will be from listening to us
 
 Talking on the car phone
  
 
 Hitman dials a secret code
 
 Receiver in the trunk explodes
 
 As he calls him on his car phone
  
 
 Orange flames across the center line
 
 You can see it on the news at nine
 
 He really got his mind blown
  
 
 And if there's anyone in space
 
 What they'll learn about the human race
 
 Will be from listening to us
 
 Talking on the car phone