I HAD FALLEN HELPLESSLY IN LOVE with one of the performers. She was so different from "the girl I left behind," and I was beginning to understand I had only pretended she was right for me. I pursued my beautiful acrobat obsessively until she let me be with her - then I suffered her rejection and contempt. Once again, I had created an ideal of the perfect soulmate, and tried to graft in onto her. It didn't fit. Such illusions have colored my whole life.
What did I see? Fool that I was A goddess, with wings on her heels All my illusions Projected on her The ideal, that I wanted to see
What did I know? Fool that I was Little by little, I learned My friends were dismayed To see my betrayed But they knew they could never tell me
What did I care? Fool that I was Little by little, I burned Maybe sometimes There might be a flaw But how pretty the picture was back then
What did I do? Fool that I was To profit from youthful mistakes? It's shameful to tell How often I fell In love with illusions again
So shameful to tell Just how often I fell In love with illusions again
