[Guard]
Alright, when I call your name step forward
Pinocchio, the puppet
[Pinocchio]
I'm not a puppet I'm a real boy
(Nose grows and he laughs)
[Guard]
That's your patch of mud down there
[Pinocchio]
Oh, dopped on a swamp
Man, I tell you sometimes being a fairytale creature sucks pine sap
[Pinocchio]
Life is disappointing
Woe is what I know
Outted by my nose
That's just how it goes
For poor Pinocchio
Story of my life
Always doomed to fail
Cheated by a fox
Swallowed by a whale
That's the story of my life, oh, yeah
That's the story of my life
[Shoemaker's Elf]
Strife is never ending
[Guard]
Peter Pan
[Peter Pan]
Banished from the town
[Guard]
Ugly Duckling
[Ugly Duckling]
They dragged me from the pond
[Fairy Godmother]
They pulled my magic wand
[The Three Little Pigs]
They blew our condos down
[Guard]
Wicked Witch
[Wicked Witch]
Life is but a witch hunt
[Mama Bear]
Mama's in the mud
Mama's in distress
[Garden Gnome]
They ridiculed my hat
[Three Little Pigs]
They said that we were fat
[Big Bad Wolf]
They tore my cotton granny dress
And called me a hot and tranny mess
[Guard]
Sugar Plum Fairy
[All]
Story of my life
Booted from ball
Told to go away
[Humpty Dumpty]
Tumbled off a wall
[All]
That's the story of my life
[Guard]
You're late rabbit
[White Rabbit]
That's the story of my life
[Guard]
Have fun you guys
[All]
That's the story of my life
[Guard]
And remember if we find you back in the kingdom you will be executed
[All]
I always dreamed I'd get a happy ending
[Wicked Witch]
And this right here
Not how it goes
[All]
I always dreamed I'd get an ever after
If this is it
It blows
It blows
It blows
[Pinocchio]
This is worse than that case of Dutch Elm Disease I caught in Tijuana
[All]
Story of my life
All the wasted prayers
All the broken dreams
[The Three Bears]
All the broken chairs
[All]
All the damage done
[The Three Bears]
All the busted beds
[All]
All the shattered falls
[The Three Bears]
Pourage on our heads
[All]
That's the story of my life, yes sir
That's the story of my life, oy vey
That's the story of my
Life
[Pinocchio]
Crap
