so let me tell you how this all came to be
 
 I'm doin' this here rap for your safety
 
 so all you kids don't mess up like me
 
 and be disowned by your family
 
  
  so check it, this is how it all began
 
 I was chillin', eatin' some raisin bran
 
 I decided it was time to get a tan
 
 so I grabbed my scissors and then I ran
  
 
 I forgot my house was two stories tall
 
 I missed the first step and began to fall
 
 What happened next I could not recall
 
 I was impaled by the scissors and thats not all
  
 
 I thought I could get some help on the street
 
 I got run over by a fucking Jeep
 
 the rest of this mess I will not repeat
 
 to help keep your lunch, I've been discrete
  
 
 (box / the boxman / he's the boxman / he's the boxman / he's a box / he's a boxman / boxman / he's a box / man)
  
 
 I woke up in a strange location
 
 some dirty bum had an explanation
 
 apparently he had no education
 
 he turned my body into an abomination
  
 
 he said he found me on the road nearly dead
 
 it was necessary he fix my torso and my head
 
 he had no human parts so he used a box instead
 
 the news was so overwhelming that I fled
  
 
 (box / the boxman / he's the boxman / he's the boxman / he's a box / he's a boxman / boxman / he's a box / man)
  
 
 [yo, what's up homie, you know that boxman?
 
 yeah, he used to be a part of my clique
 
 yeah, well what about now?
 
 I don't know man, he can suck my --]
  
 
 it's hard to live with a body of cardboard
 
 you'd think with this cute smile I'd be adored
 
 but since the accident I've always been ignored
 
 I trust one day that my hope will be restored
  
 
 I'd like to meet a girl who likes me for me
 
 but of course no girl likes a guy made of tree
 
 I get so desperate that a cry and I plea
 
 I'd even take a fat girl to a tolerable degree
  
 
 I guess it ain't that bad to be a box like me
 
 hey, at least I ain't Mary-Kate or Ashley
 
 if I ever want to travel across the sea
 
 I disguise myself as a package and fly for free
  
 
 Well the moral of the story is airfare's expensive as hell
 
 so that's the end of my tale, so long, and farewell
  
 
 (box / the boxman / he's the boxman / he's the boxman / he's a box / he's a boxman / boxman / he's a box / man) (x3)