Anything he can do, I can do dumber 
 I can do anything dumber than him 
 No, you can't 
 Yeah, I can 
 No, you can't 
 Yeah, I can 
 Quit talking crap and prove you're dumb, man 
    To get around town I can ace this race 
 I roll down the street with shopping carts as skates 
 I always take first dates to da club with my mum 
 I run through airports screaming about my lip balm 
 You think that's dumb? That ain't shit 
 Son I misplaced my hammer so I used a nail gun 
 Blow dry my hair while I take a nap in the bath 
 I stuck my tongue to a frozen pole and it hecka sucked ass   
 Anything you can do, I can do dumber 
 I can do anything dumber than you 
 No, you can't 
 Yeah, I can 
 No, you can't 
 Yeah, I can 
 Quit talking crap and prove you're dumb, man   
 Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, du-dumb, dumb, du-dumb   
 Dumb! 
 Forgot to put lemons in my lemon meringue pie 
 Dumb! 
 Hold my breath through a tunnel and almost died 
 Dumb! 
 Siphoned gas out of a septic tank 
 Dumb! 
 Tagged myself a selfie when I tried to rob a bank 
 Dumb! 
 Lit fireworks in my room to hear them go pop 
 Dumb! 
 Built a fully functional humanoid robot   
 Er, dude that's not dumb at all. That's actually kind of brilliant   
 Oh, er   
 Peed into a bottle and gave it to a cop 
 Hahahaha!   
 Anything you can do, I can do dumber 
 I can do anything dumber than you 
 No, you can't 
 Yeah, I can 
 No, you can't 
 Yeah, I can 
 Quit talking crap and prove you're dumb, man   
 I can eat my phone to take a pic of my heart 
 I can scratch my own back 'cause I cut off my arm 
 Gave a scary biker a free prostate exam 
 To impress a hitchhiker I lit my fart inside a van