The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals

Ooh, ooh

The greatest stories ever told
Have a hero who must be bold
They learn a sense of right and wrong
And better learn the sense through song

Musicals tell the impossible (impossible)
They evoke the philosophical, yeah!

So tonight we're gonna chronicle
A story so astronomical
The last remaining story to tell

The guy who didn't like musicals
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em
I mean, what the fuck!
(Didn't like, did not like, like-a-like 'em)
He's the guy who didn't like musicals
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em
Yeah, what the fuck?
(Didn't like, did not like, like-a-like 'em)

In the tiny town of Hatchetfield
Lived an awful Grinch named Paul
Spends his day surfing the web
And not singing and dancing with us all

Should we kill him?
Should we kill him?

Oh, he pines after a cute lil' barista
Isn't that worth a show-stopping fiesta, yeah?
But for some damn reason
He won't join our singing season

What an ass!
What a bitch!
What a cuck!

The guy who didn't like musicals
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em
I mean, what the fuck!
(Didn't like, did not like, like-a-like 'em)
He's the guy who didn't like musicals
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Didn't like, did not like, like-a-like 'em

It's the end of the world, Paul
(End of the world)
If you don't sing
(If you don't sing)

This is the bridge, Paul
(This is the bridge)
Where we globalize everything

And the words will come to you
We swear we will teach you

What it means to love
What it means to obey, Paul!

The apotheosis is upon us
Yay!

Did you hear the word?
What's the word?
He's a-comin'
Who's a-comin'?
Paul's a-comin'
Paul's a-comin'?
The star of the show

Now for his headlining entrance
Time to swoon at his leading man essence

His name is in the title
He's destined to go viral
Here he is, his name is Paul

Enter now!

Where the fuck is he?
I have no fucking clue

The guy just doesn't like musicals
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
(You gotta believe in something, Paul, gotta believe in stupid Paul)
Yeah!
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Didn't like, did not like, like-a-like 'em
(Gotta believe in something, Paul, you piece of shit)
He's the guy who didn't like musicals
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Na-na-na-na-na-na!
(Gotta believe in something, Paul, gotta believe in stupid Paul)
Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em
Na-na-na-na-na-na!
(Didn't like, did not like, like-a-like 'em)
Whoo!
(Gotta believe in something, Paul, you piece of shit)

And he definitely won't like this!
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
(Gotta believe in something, Paul, gotta believe in stupid Paul)
Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em
Didn't like, did not like, like-a-like them
(Gotta believe in something, Paul, you piece of shit)
He's the guy who didn't like musicals
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
(Why, oh, why, oh why)
Na-na-na-na-na-na!
(Gotta believe in something, Paul, gotta believe in stupid Paul)
Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em
Na-na-na-na-na-na!
(Didn't like, did not like, like-a-like them)
(Gotta believe in something)

Paul, you piece of shit!