He met her at the Mallard, everything was going great 
 He said, "hello, my name is Terry. Can I take you on a date?" 
 He picked her up at 7:00, everything was going fine 
 They had a little bit of beer and a lot of red wine 
 She invited him in, 'cuz it was getting late 
 She said, "I slept with Terry, and it wasn't that great 
 I slept with Terry, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" 
    He woke up in the morning with an aching head 
 He rolled over and said "baby, was I good in bed?" 
 She said, "you passed out, you woke up, you puked on my cat 
 I want you out of my apartment in 10 seconds flat" 
 She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to say 
 But from the smell of his skin, he'd been drinking all day 
 I slept with Terry, and all I got was a W-2