'Seventeen' was an underfunded comedy
 
 About love and drugs and girls and immortality
 
 And most of the jokes just kinda hung around and died
 
  
  'Nineteen' was a 90 second short
 
 About a cartoon kid who sits and drinks on his porch
 
 And gets pissed
 
 He took one good swipe at his wrist but he missed so he lived
  
 
 These teenage chicks, they grow up so quick
 
 I swear they must get sucked up by the television
 
 And we're still losing lights in the fight for the teenage liberation
  
 
 'Twenty three' was a shot of straight frustration
 
 Flying down the pathways, he was dying in the bars
 
 He mostly ate all his meals in his car
  
 
 'Twenty nine' was the end of the line
 
 He stayed up for 16 nights at a stretch, he was wrecked
 
 You could see all the veins in his neck when he flexed
  
 
 These senior class chicks, they're the easiest to kiss
 
 They got nothing to lose and they know it
 
 You just fill up their cup at the keg a couple a times
 
 And it's pretty much up to you not to blow it
  
 
 All the coolest guys have all the coolest rides
 
 But they're colliding with the inanimation
 
 We're still losing lights in the fight for the teenage liberation
  
 
 Teenage heat is a warm and wet and heavy situation
 
 Such sweaty exultation and soft, sharp penetration
 
 On unsupervised vacations
  
 
 Kissing boys and getting wasted
 
 Hot and soft and generally complacent
  
 
 'Seventeen' is an underfunded comedy