See You Leave (feat. Steven Rodriguez)

This rain keeps pourin' from the clouds you made for me
I thought this all done, but the storm won't let me be, so
I sit here often, thinkin' how I couldn't see
The time, we lost it, and I break to see you leave

Why don't I forgive you?
You're layin' in a grave, and I woke up at a young healthy age
So, why don't I forgive you?
I buried you today, looked around, and I was only one of eight
So, why don't I forgive you?
Nobody wanna say it, but if anyone deserved it, it was you
So, why don't I forgive you?
I only feel bad for the ones who feel bad when they do
When they do, I'ma tell 'em they got better shit to feel, ah, ah, ah
Promise I'ma keep it real, ah, ah, ah
What does blood even reveal?
You're my dad's dad, but you're why my dad never healed
I'm sorry, but I'm not grievin'
He was dead to us way before he stopped breathin'
The last we spoke was four years ago even
And I was fine with that before he died
So, why can't I forgive myself, neither?

This rain keeps pourin' from the clouds you made for me
I thought this all done, but the storm won't let me be, so
I sit here often, thinkin' how I couldn't see
The time, we lost it, and I break to see you leave

Why don't I forgive you?
You're layin' in a grave, and I woke up at a young healthy age
So, why don't I forgive you?
You know I'm self-made, we both layin' in the product of our ways
So, why don't I forgive you?
I wrote a eulogy today, but your brother had a page, can I say
Shit, how could he forgive you?
For all the silence and the hate
And all the trauma and the pain, that you leave him
Got the same name, but I changed ways of the meanin'
Now the name rang, and it maintains somethin' deeper
Than the same hate, and the same shame that you catered
Kinda hate that I'm doin' your last name a fuckin' favor
You don't deserve that
Dad was almost homeless, he ain't never heard a word back
Nah, he don't deserve that
I heard you were askin' 'bout me on your deathbed
How you still got me dealin' with regrets?
Can't forgive myself neither

This rain keeps pourin' from the clouds you made for me (clouds you made for me)
I thought this all done, but the storm won't let me be, so
I sit here often, thinkin' how I could be seen (how I couldn't see)
The time, we lost it, and I break to see you leave

Should I have been there more?
All the birthday letters I ignored, calls, texts I ignored
Shit, should I have been there more?
Dad would even answer yours
So, who did I even do it for?
Should I have been there more?
Told myself to pick a side, was it honesty or was it pride?
I should've been there more
Too late to make it right
It's too late to make it right
Moments home away when they're spent
With someone who ain't here no more
So, why am I feelin' regret?
The problems feel a little lesser, when they ended at death
Too busy pickin' a side to take a peek over the fence
I know I could've done more, ah, ah, ah
Too proud to be mature, ah, ah, ah
I was nine telling you I like to rhyme, used to keep it up
But ended up fine, now it's too late to see me tour, nah, nah, ah
I never told you how I felt, 'cause I ain't wanna hear your voice
Never knew the way I felt, so I ain't even make a point
Promise that I wasn't selfish, and I didn't make the time
Used to think that you were wrong, now I know that you were right
I seen the picture of you, seen you in a different light
So they ask about your upbringing and childhood life
And now it makes some more sense
You're just a product of his struggle
I'm sorry and I love you

I should've been there more
O-o-ooh, a-a-aah
O-o-ooh, a-a-aah