Once upon a time, Dale Meiners got mad at me
 
 He was very disappointed in me
 
 I was bragging about doing a keyboard solo show that would not happen
 
 At 2:00 AM on March 5, 1996, Dale Meiners gave me a war hell ride
 
  
  I deserved a war hell ride
 
 I deserved a war hell ride
 
 I deserved a war hell ride
 
 I deserved a war hell ride
  
 
 As Dale Meiners gave me a war hell ride, I gave him a war hell ride
 
 I told Dale Meiners to get off my case
 
 Suddenly, I threw him against the van
 
 I wanted to duke his scrawny ass up and smash his face at about 2:10 AM that morning
  
 
 I deserved a war hell ride
 
 I deserved a war hell ride
 
 I deserved a war hell ride
 
 I deserved a war hell ride
  
 
 As we left the Bottleneck, me and Dale yelled at each other
 
 He called me a fucking asshole
 
 I called him a fucking dipstick
 
 It was my fault for not being cool in Lawrence, Kansas that morning
  
 
 I deserved a war hell ride
 
 I deserved a war hell ride
 
 I deserved a war hell ride
 
 I deserved a war hell ride