Fortuneless? Lifegivining?

The outline of his wingy being
just I´ve felt like somewhat weird
contradictions unexplained
now I´m in what to be enlightened
blowing a fuse whether some joy to choose
all my flesh swamped
in scorching maleficence
that pervades to a stinging sweetness
who is he,mysterious being
who´s been allowed to hide you under his wings
to bring you there to his kingdom up high
a myriad of thoughts twisting your head
why,what for? a fuse inside of me
just getting strong
I´m the other little figure
on a chessboard of the fortune
a little figure whose fortune´s
pulled down under
feeling like a vessel so utterly full
with all the things profane
a vessel missing backside
living interior of no mind balance