I found a shelter and garden
On the corner of fountain and vine
It's made for gamblers who lose
A place for brave men to whine
Every so often there's trouble
Somebody could lose a life
I just sit on the back porch
And eat apples with my knife
Isabella comes to visit
She can talk all day and night
Cursing the republican government
I can't say if she's wrong or right
I said I admired her hatred
I'm not one to take sides
She kissed me and tried to persuade me
So I had no choice, I had to lie
In the morning she left me a letter
I couldn't make out a single word
I'm sure it was something outrageous
About her trying to save the world
It was then that I got so depressed
In this world I make no difference
I just hang out with thieves
Spitting apple seeds at the fence
So I picked up the la times
And read to page 22
It was there that I found my purpose
To help dogs from being abused
I began to tell all my friends
About these dogs in need
I said, ? Did you know in some parts of china
All the dogs have fleas??
They said I was crazy
Laughed and shook their heads
Said maybe I would have found Jesus
In another girl? S bed
But I was off to the white house
With 6 greyhounds and a sign
Practiced my speech to the president
I memorized every line
After a few days I made friends
To help me with my cause
We even made the local news
Chanting: Lets save the dogs!
It brought a tear to my eye
They understood what I had to say
And just like isabella
I was talking all night and day
I was talking at the racetrack
I was talking on the radio
I was talking at the cathedral
And at the pound with my megaphone
And then one sunny morning
Preaching at the dog parade
I had a crowd of 2, 000
Hanging on every word I? D say
I swore I'd see them through
We? D fight until the end
When a bulldog barked right at me
And tore up my left hand
As the blood ran down my arm
From my elbow to the floor
I knew I'd lose my temper
I couldn't take anymore
I screamed: That's it, I give up!
These dogs don't give a damn!
They all called me a traitor
Said: Go back to from where you came!
So that's just what I did
And they welcomed me with open arms
And the freshest basket of apples
Straight from cortez farms
I told isabella my story
I thought she'd understand
But she called me a failure
And knocked the fruit from my hands
I guess maybe she was right
I was just a phony from the start
But these apples never tasted sweeter
And I know who my real friends are
