1. 1

    Tom Lehrer - The Masochism Tango

  2. 2

    Tom Lehrer - I Hold Your Hand In Mine

  3. 3

    Tom Lehrer - Pollution

  4. 4

    Tom Lehrer - The Elements

  5. 5

    Tom Lehrer - We Will All Go Together When We Go

  6. 6

    Tom Lehrer - Wernher Von Braun

  7. 7

    Tom Lehrer - Oedipus Rex

  8. 8

    Tom Lehrer - Poisoning Pigeons In The Park

  9. 9

    Tom Lehrer - So Long, Mom (A Song for World War III)

  10. 10

    Tom Lehrer - The Hunting Song

  11. 11

    Tom Lehrer - The Wiener Schnitzel Waltz

  12. 12

    Tom Lehrer - A Christmas Carol

  13. 13

    Tom Lehrer - Alma

  14. 14

    Tom Lehrer - Be Prepared

  15. 15

    Tom Lehrer - Bright College Days

  16. 16

    Tom Lehrer - Clementine

  17. 17

    Tom Lehrer - Everybody Eat

  18. 18

    Tom Lehrer - Fight Fiercely, Harvard!

  19. 19

    Tom Lehrer - George Murphy

  20. 20

    Tom Lehrer - I Got It From Agnes

  21. 21

    Tom Lehrer - I Wanna Go Back To Dixie

  22. 22

    Tom Lehrer - In Old Mexico

  23. 23

    Tom Lehrer - It Makes A Fellow Proud To Be A Soldier

  24. 24

    Tom Lehrer - L-Y

  25. 25

    Tom Lehrer - Lobachevsky

  26. 26

    Tom Lehrer - MLF Lullaby

  27. 27

    Tom Lehrer - My Home Town

  28. 28

    Tom Lehrer - National Brotherhood Week

  29. 29

    Tom Lehrer - New Math

  30. 30

    Tom Lehrer - Send The Marines

  31. 31

    Tom Lehrer - She's My Girl

  32. 32

    Tom Lehrer - Silent E

  33. 33

    Tom Lehrer - Smut

  34. 34

    Tom Lehrer - Thanksgiving

  35. 35

    Tom Lehrer - That's Mathematics

  36. 36

    Tom Lehrer - The Derivative Song

  37. 37

    Tom Lehrer - The Folk Song Army

  38. 38

    Tom Lehrer - The Irish Ballad

  39. 39

    Tom Lehrer - The Old Dope Peddler

  40. 40

    Tom Lehrer - The Professor's Song

  41. 41

    Tom Lehrer - The Wild West Is Where I Want To Be

  42. 42

    Tom Lehrer - There's A Delta For Every Epsilon

  43. 43

    Tom Lehrer - Vatican Rag

  44. 44

    Tom Lehrer - Whatever Became of Hubert?

  45. 45

    Tom Lehrer - When You Are Old And Gray

  46. 46

    Tom Lehrer - Who's Next?

Be Prepared

Tom Lehrer

You know: of all the songs I've ever sung, that is the one I've had the most requests not to.
I have time for one more here. This one is a little song dedicated to the Boy Scouts of America. [applause] We seem to have a convention here tonight. The Boy Scouts of America, those noble little... bastions of democracy, and the American Legion of tomorrow. Their motto is... I would like to state at this time that I am not now and have never been... a member of the Boy Scouts of America. Their motto is, as you know, Be Prepared! and that is the name of this song.

Be prepared! That's the Boy Scout's marching song,
Be prepared! As through life you march along.
Be prepared to hold your liquor pretty well,
Don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell.

Be prepared! To hide that pack of cigarettes,
Don't make book if you cannot cover bets.
Keep those reefers hidden where you're sure
That they will not be found
And be careful not to smoke them
When the scoutmaster's around
For he only will insist that it be shared.
Be prepared!

Be prepared! That's the Boy Scouts' solemn creed,
Be prepared! And be clean in word and deed.
Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice,
Unless you get a good percentage of her price.

Be prepared! And be careful not to do
Your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
If you're looking for adventure of a
new and different kind,
And you come across a Girl Scout who is
similarly inclined,
Don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared.
Be prepared!

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