Wish I was a stone So I couldn’t feel You’d yell in my face It’d be no big deal But I’d miss the way We make up and smile Don’t want to be stone I changed my mind
I wish I had eyes In the back of my head Then I could see The places I’ve been But then I would know That you’re talking shit I don’t wanna know What my friends think
Wish I were my dog Out on the lawn I’d be so glad When I hear you come home But if I were my dog I wouldn’t live long I'm sure gonna miss her When she’s gone
I wish I could act In a show on TV Cause then I could practice Not being me I’ll practice my cry Put it into my reel But you won’t believe me When I cry for real
I wish that my brain Would triple in size I’d nail every joke I’d win every fight But I’d get too deep With that kinda mind I don’t wanna know The point of life
In some other life I would be rich I’d travel in style I'd cover the bill But couldn’t complain ‘Bout anything small Nobody’d feel bad for me at all
If I was cocaine Or a bottle of Jack I’d get invited To every frat But when you get old And your good days have passed You’ll only want me When you’re sad
Wish I was a song Your favorite one You’d follow the dance To me at your prom I would be there When your baby is born For two or three minutes Then I'm gone
I wish I was big As big as my house I’d sleep on the trees I’d skip every crowd But I wouldn’t fit On my therapist’s couch God I could Really use him now
I wish I was God I’d never trip up And if I did Well so fuckin what I could be cruel And break all your stuff Yet, I’d be loved No matter what
But if I was God It’d get kinda weird Cause you would only say What I wanna hear And then you would die You’d love me to death I’d never know Who the hell I am
I wish I was me Whoever that is I could just be And not give a shit Hey I’ll be whatever Makes you a fan Cause I don’t know Who the hell I am
