Doubting myself these days
Thinking that I'll lose it all
Know that I came so close
Thinking that I'm gonna fall
They say that the money really changed me
Say that I'm showing off
I say that I'm still the same
But deep down I know I'm wrong
Tryna go back to the old days
When money not the topic of the convo
People always ask if I'm still paid
People never ask what's wrong though
Everybody thinking that I made it
But lately I been tryna just hold on
All of my happiness fading
My brain been feeling like a war zone
People believing in me
But I don't believe that I got it myself
Money and numbers is all that they see
But I don't see happiness coming with wealth
Everything's smooth when you look at the surface
Wish you could see what goes on in my mind
Battling demons, they hidden inside
They keeping me paranoid every night
Like
Everything ain't what it seems
Focused on the wrong things
I been tryna hold on
I been tryna hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on
Hold on to everything I got now
Praying I don't fall down
I been going all out
I could lose it all now
Hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on
I been tryna hold on
Feel like I'm losing touch
With everyone that really been with me
Dad called my phone at lunch
Told him that I was too busy
But really I just act that way
One day he gon' be locked in the grave
I'ma wish I can get the time back
Talk to him 'bout all the time he gave
Up just to make sure I'm good now
'Cause life ain't never gon' be easy
He worked his way to put food down
Made sure he always could feed me
And I just hang up the phone now
'Cause I'm too focused on the CD
I'm tryna turn my dream into real life
But that's the problem, I don't realize
I'm trapped inside of my own world
Forget about life and the meaning
I'm tryna get back all my old girls
My mom is who I should be seeing
'Cause everybody ain't always breathing
And sometimes it happens outta nowhere
I'm praying that my family don't go there
But if they do, then I'll be on my own
Everything ain't what it seems
Focused on the wrong things
I been tryna hold on
I been tryna hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on
Hold on to everything I got now
Praying I don't fall down
I been going all out
I could lose it all now
Hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on
I been tryna hold on
