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The Ballad Of Hamantha

Jack Stauber

Life's extension lottery
Kind to some, but not to thee
Born with a rare and sad disease
She grew a ham (where her head should be)

Flowing hair, she was a cutie pie
Meaty face and a lovely eye
Her dream was to be a famous star
But at the rate she was goin’, she wasn't going far

Hamantha
Hamantha
You were impossible to ignore
Hamantha
Hamantha
So greedy we wanted more

Her father was a sinful man (duh)
He wanted to help
In any way that I can!
Home from school, he watched his daughter cry
In the yard, he cursed God
And fired at the sky

Flowing hair, she was a cutie pie
Meaty face and a lovely eye
Dreams in the sky, her father felt her pain
And as he shot at the clouds, it began to rain

Hamantha
Hamantha
You were impossible to ignore
Hamantha
Hamantha
So greedy we wanted more

Got a call from the doctor
He had some amazing news for her
He just developed a cure
If she hurried over now, he'd try it out on her

Burst out the door, she was beaming
Among the raindrops her happy tears were streaming
Finally free from her pain
But something else fell with the rain

A stray bullet shot by her father
Aimlessly nested inside her
She fell to the sidewalk, now empty
Of the life which once christened her body

Nurse
She’s, she's gone
Oh - oh dear
I left a lunch on the table in the operating room for the bereaved
A cooked ham, as is customary for these dark situations
Doctor - what - which one is the - which one is the ham?
I - I must go, I'm on break
Oh dear

Flowing hair, she was a cutie pie
Meaty face and a lovely eye
At her time of death
The doc said: Time to eat!
So he took a bite out of her face meat

Hamantha
Hamantha
You were impossible to ignore
Hamantha
Hamantha
So greedy we wanted more

Soaring infinitely through space
Hamantha's soul was graced
With a glance of our humble planet
At which she was amazed

The news of her untimely death
Had spread out near and far
And through her soul, the truth was whole
The dream had crossed the bar

Hamantha had become a star
Hamantha was finally a star

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