Hello And Goodbye (Hello Neighbor Rap)

Just quit my gig at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza
And I'm starting over fresh, Hello Neighbor, nice to meet ya
Picked up a new job and the pay is good
So I got relocated to this neighborhood
Can't say if I'll stay for good
But I love how quaint and safe it looks
Just moved in so I'd better unpack
If I leave a mess a neighbor might get on my back
Clean up your yard!

Get inside, check that off
Power, lights, better get 'em on
Haul these boxes off of my lawn
Put 'em in my little house where all of 'em belong
Guess the checklist is already done
Was that a car crash? What's going on?
Who's that, across the street?
A strange man I ought to greet
Just hope he's not another freak
On second thought, I'll leave

And try my best to go off to sleep
But why would he lock the basement door?
Then board it up with a two by four?
What's he up to? I can't ignore
I wonder what the rubber gloves are for
I'd like to find out what he's hiding (woops)
Won't be the last time he's caught me spying
I'm only running for the exercise
I swear to God I'm not terrified
I've got suspicions but I don't know why
Should I go say hello?
Or should I just say goodbye?

I'm really not a nosy person, I swear
Just let me poke around your house, and I'll get out of your hair
Curiosity killed the cat
But I'll be next, I can promise that
Keep my head down while I'm creeping
He was in the kitchen, how'd he see me?
Sorry Neighbor, just passing by
Beautiful day we're having, right?
Just minding my own business
I'm definitely on his shit list
Screw this, what the hell?

I'll just go introduce myself
Walk up to the door, ring the bell
We could be pals, that'd be swell
Just woke up in my bed
With a pain in my neck and an ache in my head
Look at the bright side, I'm not dead
I should move out, that would make sense
(Eh) Or I could try again
What a mess, total disorder
This house could be in an episode of hoarders
Shhhh, he's not gonna find me
Oh God, is he right behind me?
(Yup)

I'll just hide until he walks away
Normally I suck at cardio but not today
I'm only running for the exercise
I swear to God I'm not terrified
I'm going home to get some rest tonight
I know we just said hello
But now I'm saying goodbye
It's a demented freakshow that I've gotten lost in
There's probably skeletons locked in closets
With deep dark secrets that a shark is guardin'
If he invites you to a pool party, you should probably not swim

This guy's a circus clown
But I'm not a kid to toy with
Next time you drink your milk
Careful, it might be poisoned
Okay, this has gone too far
I'm breaking in his window with a crowbar?
Every step I take, there's a camera watchin'
So logically, I'll just pick his pocket
Too many tools and keys to keep track
Ahh! Fk, a bear trap!

Can't I have one normal day
Without a wannabe Norman Bates?
Talk about mommy problems
I don't wanna judge, but he's probably got 'em
A man with a mannequin family?
Don't you dare put your filthy hands on me
I thought he was long past his prime
But his sprint is just as fast as mine
Must be a lotta exercise
When you get a new neighbor to terrorize

He's predicting my every move
Screw this, I'll go in through the roof
Since he's got every exit covered
If I'm not careful, I'll be six feet under
Lost in a funhouse, but it's not any fun
Time to stop his evil plot with a shot from my gun
You've gotta be kidding. Now I've gotta run!
I'm only running for the exercise
I swear to God I'm not terrified
Flip the power, cut the lights and hide
I know we just said hello
But now I'm going to die!