I got your head spinnin' runnin' circles around you
With a baseball bat that I'm using to pound you
I'll be up in your face in the blink of an eye
No, I don't have wings, but I don't need them to fly
With a couple double jumps, I'll be fleeing the zone
Pick up your intel quick, then I'm bringing it home
I'm a pretty big deal, that's the honest truth
I mean, do you even know who you're talking to?
About face, maggots, stand at attention
Learn from a soldier who's reached perfection
Forward charge with my rpg
Helmet so low, I can hardly see!
Bam, rocket jumping all over the place
Finish you punks with a shovel to the face
If that don't kill you, it'll break your nose
I hope you weasels are taking notes
Welcome to my magical candy land
Where smiles are from ear to ear
And everyone loves each other
Come and spread the cheer
This rap is kind of overdue (right?)
But now it's time to meet the crew (tight!)
The crazy dudes of tf2
So pick a side, red or blue?
After I pick my class
I'm gonna kick your ass
'Cause that's what we were born to do
Let's set up shop and get to work
I built a health dispenser if you've been hurt
Plus I got plenty of sentry defenses
But do not touch, 'cause this stuff's expensive
Auto-aim rockets oughtta wreck you bumpkins
And just in case I need it, self destruction
Step back 'fore I whack you with a wrench
And when my turrets spot you
You're as good as dead
Cry some more, run while you can
You little babies don't stand a chance
They call me heavy, this is my gun
When she starts spinning, you'd better run
I do not require brains or technique
I've got so much muscle, I'll never be beat
I'll mow you down wherever you stand, bitch!
Now I am hungry, make me sandwich
Ok, I'm good
Are you a bleeding idiot?
To fight with a drunken scot?
I'll down a swig of whiskey
For every grenade I launch
Wherever I go, the explosions follow
So keep your distance, lad
And I carry traditional weapons
I'll bloody you up with an axe
This rap is kind of overdue (right?)
But now it's time to meet the crew (tight!)
The crazy dudes of tf2
So pick a side, red or blue?
Pick out my favorite class
Check out my fancy hats
I just don't know which one to choose
I'm ze medic, zo don't go far
You might vant a tazte of my ubercharge
Still a doctor, but I lost my license
Zis could be a problem, shiza!
I'm alvays ready vith a bloody bone saw
But I can't help much if your head is blown off
Die, schveinhund, I vill vin zis
Don't overdose on my syringes!
Boom! That's another headshot, bloke
I'm a professional, you're a joke
I mean please mate, show some respect
At least the way I'm doin' it
You'll get a quick death
I'm from the outback, where things get hectic
Got a big machete that I'll slice your head with
Aussie assassins aren't very common
But when you hear this (bullet shot), keep on runnin'
You probably know me for my disguise
And I dress as sharp as all my knives
Just when you think I'm on your team
Au revoir, mon cheri
I'm a very accomplished back stabber
Who destroys your equipment with my sapper
Gentlemen, there's a spy in our midst
And he's got plenty of ass to kick
This rap is kind of overdue (right?)
But now it's time to meet the crew (tight!)
The crazy dudes of tf2
So pick a side, red or blue?
After I pick my class
I'm gonna kick your ass
'Cause that's what we were born to do
