One-Lion Pride

I am ever so proud to present myself
Why? Because I'm a present myself

I'm a gift to every single stage on which I perform
I don't fit in any cage, that's what the ringleader's for
Everything the light touches is my kingdom of course
Haters say I have main character syndrome (for sure)
Tell me, how could I blame 'em? Because I couldn't name 'em
They're just part of the ensemble (and their role is support)
At the heart of this carnival is my carnivorous sport
To participate, get your credit card, and this Critter Cuff's yours
Sign a waiver, forget whatever you've read in any clause
Nothing bad's ever happened here, I got no red on my paws
I'm the king of the jungle, competition will crumble
Like Mufasa, I'll toss 'em, got their cubs yellin': Uncle!
I can't avoid what I am as a royal lion
Was I born in the '20s? 'Cause I'm a roarin' time, man
If you're on the sideline with the sorest hind end
Is it 'cause your wife is sayin': Raise our boys to be like him?

A little more of me, a little less of you
Natural selection ain't just lettin' anybody through
Where are you gonna be upon the chain of food?
If you're lower than me, I will make a mess of you

Don't mess with my pride (don't mess with my pride)
So impressive my pride (it's the best kind of pride)
It's not a plentiful pride (I'm a selective guy)
Just like a one-man show, I'll do it on my own
A one-lion pride

And now you're in for the ride
Doesn't matter to me if you don't meet the minimum height
Be attentive of hands and feet, you'd better keep 'em inside
'Cause appendages can go missin' with a singular bite
I am the biggest attraction that this park can provide
You wanna see? Well, then hurry
More than the furries are hype
It's in my nature to star, don't need to earn any stripes
The only spots I want on me I would prefer to be lights
Nobody been around as long as this old cat
'Cause I'm the only one who got his own throwback plush
I just chucked it in the trash (that's another man's treasure)
Give my scraps to the raccoon, it is my pleasure
Unless you're givin' me a bad rap, you'll get wacked
I'll erase any trace that this rat left of his tracks
'Cause I'm a predator
Not the kind that Chris Hanson would catch
You'll catch a swipe of my paw, but we are far from a match

A little more of me, a little less of you
Natural selection ain't just lettin' anybody through
Where are you gonna be upon the chain of food?
If you're lower than me, I will make a mess of you

Don't mess with my pride (don't mess with my pride)
So impressive my pride (it's the best kind of pride)
It's not a plentiful pride (I'm a selective guy)
Just like a one-man show, I'll do it on my own

Open up your eyes and pull off the wool
'Cause the sun arisin' is prodigal
And his life of fiction might chronicle
Somethin' underlyin', canonical

A follow-up to my act? That is illogical
There is no heir to my throne, in fact, impossible
Scratch that, let me get back to my braggadocious nonsense
If you touch my crown, you'll be the next one I digest
And after that, what happens is how happy tales end
With a pleasant defecation right out my tail-end
I'm a beast, I will slay, yes, I eat, I'm the apex
Givin' y'all the pay cuts, oh, they can write my paychecks

A little more of me, a little less of you
Natural selection ain't just lettin' anybody through
Where are you gonna be upon the chain of food?
If you're lower than me, I will make a mess of you

Don't mess with my pride (don't mess with my pride)
So impressive my pride (it's the best kind of pride)
It's not a plentiful pride (I'm a selective guy)
Just like a one-man show, I'll do it on my own
A one-lion pride