The Markiplier Rap

Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier
What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that?
What is that? What is that?
What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that?
What is that? What is that?
Holy balls

Who's a YouTube star we all admire?
A drunken miner, who just retired
To become a part-time chef, plus a diver
Hark the herald, It's Markiplier!
A friend of Slender, and a star designer
But he's not a doctor you'd want to hire (Nope)
A gravitational law-defier
He taught a gosh darn shark to fly, word
Like a bird, he'll drop a sky turd
Amnesia, he forgot a lighter
Mark's a guy who's one tough survivor
But he'll run and hide because he's not a fighter
Who's your daddy? Markiplier
An awesome father, not what I heard
He met a hot ghost and tried to wife her
Also, he's an awful biker
Who likes to ride over-sharpened items
Not like it was hard to find 'em
Sexy Mark can fill your heart's desires
He'll pick up chicks, and drop one-liners
He's so hot his hair could start a fire
Don't be shocked, if Mark is tired
Like a guard who worked for five long all-nighters
He's on the clock, someone start the timer
Was that Foxy? Hope he's not a biter
Nevermind, it was just Darkiplier
Not gonna lie, it's hard to rhyme words
When you got a name like Markiplier
His Draw My Life had us all inspired
I teared up and I'm not a crier
I would rather light my farts on fire
Then ever stop watching Markiplier
That was weird, I'm gonna stop right there
I'll sing the chorus while I dye my hair

You've shocked, you've scared, you've surprised
Just take us along for the ride
When you laugh, we laugh
And we've cried with you
When you crap your pants
You know we do too
You're the man who's leading
All of us down a dangerous road
Remember, when you start screaming
That you will never scream alone

Green light, red light
Green light, red light
Green light, red light
Green light, red light

Where'd he come from, where did he go?
Nope, nope, nope, oh, I'm so boned!
Nothing wrong here, all fine and dandy!
I'm the king of Five Nights at Freddy's
Also known as the King of Squirrels
And he's always smooth when he talks to girls
Hey, baby, just so you know
All you gotta do is press B to blow
Watch your back for the crazed butt-stabber
I'm so brave! That doesn't matter!
Punch him straight in the Gabba Gabba!
Gotta go fast, go faster, faster!
How did his feet get spun around backwards?
Why is he covered in pancake batter?
Stand up, put your hands up!
If you're a fan of staring at bananas! (Woo)
Boo! Jumpscares galore!
Don't break your chair and end up on the floor!
You do you
And I'll do me!
And we won't do each other
Probably
Having fun? I was starting to!
Till it became a dick-punching party dude!
Hosted by the one and only Markimoo!
What'd you eat? That's a lot of poo!

You've shocked, you've scared, you've surprised
Just take us along for the ride
When you laugh, we laugh
And we've cried with you
When you crap your pants
You know we do too
You're the man who's leading
All of us down a dangerous road
Remember, when you start screaming
That you will never scream alone

Oh, you're so weird
You're so weird
Oh, you're so weird
You're so weird

Here's a look, far from weird!
Pink mustache, zero beard!
See this man, you'd best steer clear!
Sources say he should be feared!
He don't take no shit from nobody!
If you mess with him you're gonna get bloody!
Oh no! He's dead!
Wilford Warfstache knows what's best!
Markiplier's kinda like Slim Shady
He's got a lot of faces, all of them are crazy
They'll make you laugh
They'll make you cry
I will see you
In the next video
Bye-bye!

You've shocked, you've scared, you've surprised
Just take us along for the ride
When you laugh, we laugh
And we've cried with you
When you crap your pants
You know we do too
You're the man who's leading
All of us down a dangerous road
Remember, when you start screaming
That you will never scream alone