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Jerry Springer

"Weird Al" Yankovic

It's been one week since we got to see
Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry
Five days since they had the show
With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho
Three days since we heard the tale
About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male
Yesterday, it occurred to me, that I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer

Holy Cow, did you see it last week?
Well, they had this one freak
Who suckered punched his whole family
Do you recall when the brawl became a total free-for-all and Jerry's in the middle trying to be the referee?
Hey, see the stripper with the implants?
She likes to lap-dance, and date the boyfriend of her mother
Now here comes Jerry's next guest, and it's a slugfest
'Cause it's her trailer trash brother

Nymphomania is back on crack it's like When Animals Attack they all exhibit reprehensible behavior
Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes, step on their toes
That's how it goes, they get so violent they have to sign a waiver
They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt, and pointin' blame
On the air they don't care, they've got no shame
There was one guy I'm sure felt a little strange, when he found out that his wife had a sex change
They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly
They have a history of ripping off their shirts

It's been One week since they had the fight
With the Siamese twins and the transvestite
Five days since that awful brawl
They still haven't got the blood off the wall
It's been three days since the bitter feud between the KKK and the gay Jewish black dude
Yesterday, finally dawned on me, I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry Springer

Speaking: Baby, I've been sleepin' with your sister
Oh, which one?
All of 'em
Well I've been sleepin' with your best friend Jake
Yeah, welll, well me too
And I've been sleepin' with your dog Woofie
Woofie, you bitch Well, I'm also sleepin' with your pet goat
That goat doesn't love you

Once you start watchin', there's just no stoppin'
Your brain shuts down, then your IQ's droppin'
Jerry's the king of confrontation, he's a sensation, he puts the 'sin' in syndication
It's totally worthless, like a bad check, it's like a trainwreck
Don't wanna stare, but you can't look away
Like Sally Jesse, he does talk shows, but with more weirdos
The rating's jumpin' higher every day

If you've seen the show, well, then you know it's just as low as you can go
The guests are tacky, and they're lacking in their hygiene
And pretty soon, some ugly goon comes in the room
And then it's boom in the face of some unsuspecting Drag Queen
Well it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities
Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies
Jerry, Jerry, now the crowd starts their favourite chant
Should I turn off my TV? I just can't
I have a tendency to watch it religiously, I have a history of taping each one

It's been one week since the show about
Psycho killers with problems they should work out
Five days since the big surprise, when some loser's wife found out that she's still dating 20 guys
Three days since he interviewed a bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude
Yesterday, it occurred to me, that I've been watchin' a bit too much jerry Springer

Tired of wastin' my time on that Jerry Springer
I've got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer
Come over here and pull on my finger

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