One very exciting area of folk idiom and folk music to us has always
Been the hatchet murders in Massachusetts
And I think that this quaint bit of suburban living can best be
Explained through the use of our poet laureate, Joe Frazier
Elizabeth Borden took an axe
And gave her mother forty whacks
And when the job was nicely done
She gave her father forty one
Yesterday in old Fall River, Mr. Andrew Borden died
And he got his daughter Lizzie on a charge of homicide
Some folks say she didn't do it, and others say of course she did
But they all agree Miss Lizzie B. Was a problem kind of kid
'Cause you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts
Not even if it's planned as a surprise
No you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts
You know how neighbors love to criticize
She got him on the sofá where he'd gone to take a snooze
And I hope he went to heaven 'cause he wasn't wearing shoes
Lizzie kind of rearranged him with a hatchet so they say
And then she got her mother in that same old fashioned way
But you can't can't chop your momma up in Massachusetts
Not even if you're tired of her cuisine
No, you can't chop your momma up in Massachusetts
You know it's almost sure to cause a scene
Well, they really kept her hoppin' on that busy afternoon
With both down and upstairs chopping while she hummed a rag-time tune
They really made her hustle and when all was said and done
She'd removed her mother's bustle when she wasn't wearing one
Oh you can't chop your momma up in Massachusetts
And then blame all the damage on the mice
No you can't chop your momma up in Massachusetts
That kind of thing just isn't very nice
Now it wasn't done for pleasure and it wasn't done for spite
And it wasn't done because the lady wasn't very bright
She'd always done the slightest thing that mom or pop had bid
They said, "Lizzie cut it out!" so that's exactly what she did
But you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts
And then get dressed and go out for a walk
No, you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts
Massachusetts is a far cry from New York
No you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts
Shut the door and lock and latch it
Here comes Lizzie with a brand new hatchet
You can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts
Such a snob I heard it said
She met her pa and cut him dead
You can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts
Jump like a fish, jump like a porpoise
All join in in a habeas corpus
No, you can't chop your poppa up in Massachusetts
Massachusetts is a far cry from New York
