Is there a klavern in your town? In your town?
If not, then why not have us down? Have us down?
You’ll never recognize us, there’s a smile upon our face,
We’re changing all our dirty sheets and a-cleaning up the place.
Yep, since we got a lawyer, and a public relations man,
We’re your friendly, liberal, neighborhood klu klux klan
Yes, we’re your friendly, liberal, neighborhood klu klux klan
Ever since we got that lawyer and that public relations man.
“Course we did shoot one reporter, but he was just obscene,
And you can’t call us no filthy names. What does anglo-saxon mean?
Allemande left, allemande right, the ladies’ auxiliary is meeting tonight.
“Cause the klan’s collecting so much cash
That now, by gum, we’re rich white trash.
Now we’ve heard it said our leadership’s not qualified to lead
Well, I’m telling you that just ain’t true, why three of them can read.
Take our grand exalted dragon, now some folks think he’s bad,
But you should meet his sweet old mother,
And her brother, who’s his dad.
Yes, there’re your friendly, liberal, neighborhood klu klux klan
And he’s gonna run for governor soon as he’s out of the can.
We’re all from fine old families, the pride of all these hills,
Yep, seven generations at the same illegal stills.
Had a little rally the other night, shot up town in a fury,
Luke’s arrested; pa’s on trial; and the rest of us are on the jury.
Now we’ve heard them call us deadbeats, and we’d like to say we’re not.
We’ll all stand on our record, and that’s one thing we’ve all got.
And we’ve only have that arsenal so you that won’t raise no fuss,
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And if you don’t like that then call the cops
‘Cause the chances are they’re us.
Yes, we’re your friendly, liberal, neighborhood klu klux klan
But somehow we went from the fire to the frying pan
We never learned to hold a job and we never learned to write
But boy we sure have learned the ropes
‘Cause we use them every night.
Now when congress calls you don’t get stuck,
Just start confessing and pass the buck.
The kludd blames the klaxon, the klaxon blames the kleagle,
The kleagle blames the grand imperial eagle.
The eagle blames the wizard, the wizard blames the dragon
The dragon gets the blame, but he’s just braggin’.
Now we’re out to show the congress, that we’re oh so nice and neat,
Why we never even take the fifth, ‘cause we drank that all last week
And you’ll never hear us shooting, or hanging people high
‘Cause we’re learning to respect the law and to have an alibi.
Oh-ho come, come, come, come
Come to the church in the wildwood
Oh come to the church in the vale.
And those dirty lying witnesses, lord, forgive them what they speak
We would go to church and pray for them, ‘cept we blew it up last week.
Yes, we’re your friendly, liberal, neighborhood klu klux klan
And we sure do thank that lawyer and that public relations man.
So we’re sorry that we hung them, but they did have quite a tan,
And it sure confused your friendly, liberal, misunderstood,
Your friendly neighborhood klan which says, what’s wrong with the hood?
Your friendly liberal, neighborhood klu klux
Grab your cadillac and head for the hills
