I'll Never Tell

XANDER Well, I can do an omelet, I've almost got that... ANYA This is the man that I plan to entangle Isn't he fine? My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle Vengeance was mine! But I'm out of the biz The name I made, I'll trade for his The only trouble is - - I'll never tell. XANDER She is the one She's such wonderful fun Such passion and grace Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight - - Embrace! Tight embrace! I'll never let her go The love we've known can only grow There's just one thing that - - No. I'll never tell. ANYA, XANDER Cause there's nothing to tell. ANYA He snores XANDER She wheezes ANYA Say "housework" and he freezes XANDER She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe ANYA I talk; he breezes XANDER She doesn't know what please is. ANYA His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe! ANYA, XANDER The vibe gets kind of scary XANDER Like, she thinks I'm ordinary ANYA Like, it's all just temporary XANDER Like, her toes are kind of hairy ANYA, XANDER But it's all very well Cause, God knows, I'll never tell! ANYA When things get rough, he Just hides behind his Buffy! Now look, he's getting huffy Cause he knows that I know. XANDER She clings She's needy She's also really greedy She nev - - ANYA His eyes are beady! XANDER This is my verse, hello? She - - ANYA Hey, look at me! I'm dancing crazy! ANYA AND XANDER You know XANDER You're quite the charmer ANYA My knight in armor XANDER You're the cutest of the Scoobies With your lips as red as rubies And your firm, yet supple - - Tight embrace! ANYA He's swell XANDER She's sweller ANYA He'll always be my feller XANDER That's why I'll never tell her that I'm petrified ANYA I've read this tale There's wedding, than betrayal I know will come the day I'll want to run and hide ANYA, XANDER I lied I said it's easy I've tried But there's these fears I can't quell XANDER Is she looking for a pot of gold ANYA Will I look good when I've gotten old? XANDER Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never thatsuccessful? ANYA When I get so worn and wrinkly that I look like David Brinkley? XANDER Am I crazy? ANYA Am I dreamin'? XANDER Am I marrying a demon? ANYA, XANDER We can really raise the beam on making marriage a hell! So, thank God, I'll never tell! I swear, that I'll never tell XANDER My lips are sealed ANYA I take the fifth XANDER Nothing to see Move it along ANYA, XANDER I'll never Tell!