- 1
Clifford T. Ward - Gaye
- 2
Clifford T. Ward - Jayne From Andromeda Spiral
- 3
Clifford T. Ward - Sam
- 4
Clifford T. Ward - Scullery
- 5
Clifford T. Ward - Still Not Free
- 6
Clifford T. Ward - Both Of Us
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Clifford T. Ward - Change Of Heart
- 8
Clifford T. Ward - Detriment
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Clifford T. Ward - Nightingale
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Clifford T. Ward - No More Rock 'n' Roll
- 11
Clifford T. Ward - Prams
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Clifford T. Ward - Some Uncertainty
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Clifford T. Ward - Somehow
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Clifford T. Ward - Sunshine Girl
- 15
Clifford T. Ward - The Open University
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Clifford T. Ward - Water
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Clifford T. Ward - Wherewithal
- 18
Clifford T. Ward - A Sad Affair
- 19
Clifford T. Ward - Attraction
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Clifford T. Ward - Carrie
- 21
Clifford T. Ward - Climate Of Her Favour
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Clifford T. Ward - Coathanger
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Clifford T. Ward - Cold Wind Blowing
- 24
Clifford T. Ward - Computer
- 25
Clifford T. Ward - Easy, Baby
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Clifford T. Ward - End Of Time Tonight
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Clifford T. Ward - Evening
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Clifford T. Ward - Gandalf
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Clifford T. Ward - Gentle
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Clifford T. Ward - Give Me One More Chance
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Clifford T. Ward - God Help Me
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Clifford T. Ward - Home
- 33
Clifford T. Ward - Julia
- 34
Clifford T. Ward - Laugh It Off
- 35
Clifford T. Ward - Leader
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Clifford T. Ward - Lullaby
- 37
Clifford T. Ward - Marron's Glance
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Clifford T. Ward - Maybe I'm Right
- 39
Clifford T. Ward - Messenger
- 40
Clifford T. Ward - Moonlight
- 41
Clifford T. Ward - My Goddess
- 42
Clifford T. Ward - My My What a Day
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Clifford T. Ward - New English Bible
- 44
Clifford T. Ward - Ocean Of Love
- 45
Clifford T. Ward - Quiz Show
- 46
Clifford T. Ward - STAINS
- 47
Clifford T. Ward - Summer Solstice
- 48
Clifford T. Ward - Sympathy
- 49
Clifford T. Ward - Taking The Long Way Round
- 50
Clifford T. Ward - The Best Is Yet To Come
- 51
Clifford T. Ward - The Dubious Circus Company
- 52
Clifford T. Ward - There's No Such Thing
- 53
Clifford T. Ward - This Is The Stuff (stuck In The Lift)
- 54
Clifford T. Ward - To An Air Hostess
- 55
Clifford T. Ward - Today In Parliament
- 56
Clifford T. Ward - Tomorrow Night
- 57
Clifford T. Ward - Trespass
- 58
Clifford T. Ward - When I Found You
- 59
Clifford T. Ward - Where do Angels Really Come From ?
- 60
Clifford T. Ward - Where's It Going To End?
- 61
Clifford T. Ward - Yesterday In Parliament
- 62
Clifford T. Ward - You Knock When You Should Come In
- 63
Clifford T. Ward - A Day To Myself
- 64
Clifford T. Ward - A Dream
- 65
Clifford T. Ward - A Sad Cliché
- 66
Clifford T. Ward - A Song For Susan
- 67
Clifford T. Ward - All Modern Conveniences
- 68
Clifford T. Ward - All That Glitters Is Not Gold
- 69
Clifford T. Ward - Always Think About You
- 70
Clifford T. Ward - Another Radio Station
- 71
Clifford T. Ward - Antecipation
- 72
Clifford T. Ward - April
- 73
Clifford T. Ward - Are You Really Interested ?
- 74
Clifford T. Ward - Avenue Dreams
- 75
Clifford T. Ward - Before The World Was Round
- 76
Clifford T. Ward - Birmingham
- 77
Clifford T. Ward - Campers In The Night
- 78
Clifford T. Ward - Cellophane
- 79
Clifford T. Ward - Circus Girl
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Clifford T. Ward - Contrary
- 81
Clifford T. Ward - Convertible
- 82
Clifford T. Ward - Cricket
- 83
Clifford T. Ward - Crisis
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Clifford T. Ward - Discernible
- 85
Clifford T. Ward - Escalator
- 86
Clifford T. Ward - Everything Goes Out The Window
- 87
Clifford T. Ward - Fast Sinking
- 88
Clifford T. Ward - For Debbie And Her Friends
- 89
Clifford T. Ward - For Emily
- 90
Clifford T. Ward - Got To Get Into Your Way Of Life
- 91
Clifford T. Ward - Heaven
- 92
Clifford T. Ward - Heaven Lend a Hand
- 93
Clifford T. Ward - Here's Till Then
- 94
Clifford T. Ward - Home Thoughts From Abroad
- 95
Clifford T. Ward - I Don't Understand Your Logic
- 96
Clifford T. Ward - I Got Lost Tonight
- 97
Clifford T. Ward - I'd Like To Take You Out Tonight
- 98
Clifford T. Ward - If I Had Known
- 99
Clifford T. Ward - It's a Nice Day
- 100
Clifford T. Ward - It's Better To Believe
- 101
Clifford T. Ward - It's Such a Pity
- 102
Clifford T. Ward - Jackdaw
- 103
Clifford T. Ward - Jenny
- 104
Clifford T. Ward - Jesus Of Long Ago
- 105
Clifford T. Ward - Jig-saw Girl
- 106
Clifford T. Ward - Lady With The Book In Her Hand
- 107
Clifford T. Ward - Last Train Tonight
- 108
Clifford T. Ward - Learning My Part
- 109
Clifford T. Ward - Leaving
- 110
Clifford T. Ward - Let's Be Fools Again
- 111
Clifford T. Ward - Like An Old Song
- 112
Clifford T. Ward - Losin' After All (nothin' New)
- 113
Clifford T. Ward - Lost Again
- 114
Clifford T. Ward - Lost In The Flow Of Your Love
- 115
Clifford T. Ward - Love In The Song
- 116
Clifford T. Ward - Mad About You
- 117
Clifford T. Ward - Marble Arch
- 118
Clifford T. Ward - Miner
- 119
Clifford T. Ward - Mr. Bilbo Baggins
- 120
Clifford T. Ward - Naughty Boy
- 121
Clifford T. Ward - New England Days
- 122
Clifford T. Ward - Next To You
- 123
Clifford T. Ward - Not To Mention Her Smile
- 124
Clifford T. Ward - Not Waving, Drowning
- 125
Clifford T. Ward - Nothing New
- 126
Clifford T. Ward - Rayne
- 127
Clifford T. Ward - Realisation
- 128
Clifford T. Ward - Reckless
- 129
Clifford T. Ward - Sal
- 130
Clifford T. Ward - Screen Test
- 131
Clifford T. Ward - Secretary
- 132
Clifford T. Ward - Session Singer
- 133
Clifford T. Ward - Sidetracked
- 134
Clifford T. Ward - Snakes And Ladders
- 135
Clifford T. Ward - Somebody Stole My Woman
- 136
Clifford T. Ward - Someone I Know
- 137
Clifford T. Ward - Sometime Next Year
- 138
Clifford T. Ward - Sweetness And Light
- 139
Clifford T. Ward - Sylvie
- 140
Clifford T. Ward - Tea Cosy
- 141
Clifford T. Ward - That's The Way Our Love Goes
- 142
Clifford T. Ward - The Cause Is Good
- 143
Clifford T. Ward - The Dancer
- 144
Clifford T. Ward - The Gloria Bosom Show
- 145
Clifford T. Ward - The Mule
- 146
Clifford T. Ward - The Session Singer
- 147
Clifford T. Ward - The Traveller
- 148
Clifford T. Ward - The Way Of Love
- 149
Clifford T. Ward - They Must Think Me a Fool
- 150
Clifford T. Ward - Thinking About You
- 151
Clifford T. Ward - Thinking Of Something To do
- 152
Clifford T. Ward - This Was Our Love
- 153
Clifford T. Ward - Time The Magician
- 154
Clifford T. Ward - Trousers
- 155
Clifford T. Ward - Turbo
- 156
Clifford T. Ward - Twenty Minutes
- 157
Clifford T. Ward - Unmarried Mother
- 158
Clifford T. Ward - Up In The World
- 159
Clifford T. Ward - User Friendly
- 160
Clifford T. Ward - Wait a Minute You Fool
- 161
Clifford T. Ward - Waiting For The Garda
- 162
Clifford T. Ward - Watchin' The Tv News
- 163
Clifford T. Ward - Water-Wheel
- 164
Clifford T. Ward - WayWard
- 165
Clifford T. Ward - We Could Be Talking
- 166
Clifford T. Ward - Weather
- 167
Clifford T. Ward - Where Would That Leave Me?
- 168
Clifford T. Ward - Who Cares
- 169
Clifford T. Ward - Witches And Ghosts
- 170
Clifford T. Ward - You're No Angel
Quiz Show
Clifford T. Ward
I know you love the quiz shows
I know you love the quiz shows
I know you love the quiz shows.
And our final contestant tonight comes from . . .
Where was it again you said you come from?
An well, it doesn't mater
Let's make him welcome shall we folks?
Right, here we go -
A number of questions -
You provide the correct answers in the allotted time
And you win a lovely prize.
Are you ready?
Yep.
Who is the Prime Minister of England?
Ah, it's a woman. I know it's a woman. I think it's a woman.
Who replaced Terry Wogan on the radio?
Ah, that's a suave, slick Scotchman.
I wouldn't leave him alone with my missus, I know that.
In a sentence, what is the basis for modern thinking in society?
Star Trek is it? Oh I love the black doll in that show.
What does anaphobic mean?
Oh now, that's lucky: I learnt that this morning:
It's a hatred of -er- foreign women isn't it? Ooh, I can't understand that
I love women wherever they come from - they're all nice aren't they?
Who wears a blue uniform and is always there if you need help?
Mother Theresa?
What is a surrogate mother?
Ooh, that's my missus.
She ain't got two ha'pennies to rub together come Wednesday.
What is the role of the quiz show?
Cheese was it? No, no, I tell a lie. It was ham in mine.
I can only accept your first answer - sorry.
Who is the Queen of England?
Oh, it's a woman. I know it's a woman. I think it's a woman.
Who is the leader of the opposition?
Oh that's a woman for sure, it's my missus.
What's the meaning of the word 'horrendous'?
A bad woman is it?
What's the capital of Italy?
Oh I know that, it's -er- Nipples - I - I mean Naples.
Name the four counties in the United Kingdom.
This is easy - England, Scotland, Wales and London.
In a sentence, what do you know about the SDP Liberal Alliance?
Oh, is that the one my missus goes to where they do flower arranging
And -er- make wicker baskets and things?
Oh, there's some nice women there.
Who is Shirley Williams?
Oh, she goes there does she?
Oh yes, she's good at the flower arranging, so my missus tells me.
Who had a hit record with the song 'Wuthering Heights'?
Val Doonican is it? No, no, I know it's a woman though.
Who or what is Dow Jones?
A womaniser is he?
What does Danny La Rue do?
Oh, she dresses up as a man - is that right?
Well, you've done very well. Wendy, bring on the prizes.
Now which would you like to take home with you
The computer, the TV, the video or the holiday for two in Majorca?
Ooh, I'll have Wendy can I?
I've seen 'em do that on the Tele - you know,
The girl brings on the prizes,
And they say "I don't like the prizes, I'd rather have the girl".
Alright, you've won Wendy, off you go the pair of you.
Thank you for being a marvellous contestant.
Let's hear it for 'em, shall we?
Put you hands together and give them a big round warm of women -
I mean applause.
I love the quiz shows, I love the quiz shows
Don't you love the quiz shows?
I know you love the quiz shows
The BBC knows you love the quiz shows
And all the independents know you love the quiz shows
America taught us to love the quiz shows.
I love the quiz shows, I love the quiz shows
I love the quiz shows, I love the quiz shows
